Monday, November 28, 2005

Today on the bus ride home I fell asleep and woke up with a stiff neck. Then turned over and saw my friend laying on her boyfriend shoulder sleeping. So envy of her, got a shoulder to lean on when she's tired and wants a rest. Haizz.. then I only got my xiao zhu with me, then he too small for me to lean on!!!!! Sometimes, really wish got a shoulder for me, a shoulder to lean on when i'm tired, a shoulder when i need comforting. think i single too long le ba.. lolz. the feeling of seeing that is so the what. then so down.... haizz... where's my shouldeerrr....


Anyway, today brought xiao zhu to school.. then i saw da zhu in school... haha. Then just now in library so high. Dont ask me why. Just very high. But very fast tired le. Then got another CRM assignment, stress le.


When I got home, just feel so lifeless.. Locked myself in my room for awhile. Wanted to cry, but cant. Then just lay there hugging piglet. Never mind... dont wanna write le..


maybe just tired le ba.... maybe tomorrow go home rest? maybe...

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Wow.. yet another friday...


Mood swing today. Woke up to go school, but end up raining! Argh. How I miss my heels. Anyway, wore my bro top to school again. Wanted to study my quiz on the bus but ended up falling asleep. Tired k? bleah. End up, the quiz is just questions we did before. Wu liao! Finish in like a few mintues. 5 minutes also not up yet. As usual. Then went out of the class to wait for the rest. After tao tao finished, we all went to the library coze he wanna return books. Then tao tao today so HANDSOME!!!! It's like he cut his hair and shaved and then wore jeans. So it's like so clean. Wow... tao tao handsome guy today!!! haha. *melted*


Then had pym lec, which was fun as usual. High le. But after that reach home, throw temper. Argh... PMS i guess.. Did abit of SPF and then went off to sleep. Around 6 went over to meet lene and jimmy. Movie marathon at lene's house. Curse is really nice. Abit er xin but the story line very good and exciting. haha. Screamed alot. I think we kenna scare by each other's screaming more than the show itself. Before that we even cooked our own popcorn. Very nice k? Even better and healthier than GV's. haha..


Went home in cab again. =X Took cab twice this week le.. First time... Last sem only took cab once I think.


Next week another busy week, esp with CRM assignment... Then still got PYM report... more SPF tutorial.. haizzz..... busy busy year 2.


The trip to bangkok is more or less confrimed! Yup. Anyone interested can tell me. Just get ready money can le. haha.


I miss shopping.. I need to get myself something.. Maybe soft toy or nail polish... just something.. Had been like rushing tutorials for weeks. Hate this.. And hadn't even go clubbing!!!! Never mind, shall go during study break. Actually jim ask me to go tomorrow, but lene never go then I also don't wanna go le... k lah, enough of typing..


to my friends... this sem we must ren! though the lecs all very kuku like dunno what, but we still have to pass this sem and go on to year 3 together! so we ren! after exam then revenge! =D

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Headache.. having this irritating headache. Even just moving, laughing, talking or even just coughing make my head hurts even more. Argh. Irritating. Wanna take panadol, but didnt, hoping it will go away and also to make sure that my fever is gone and not just gone because of the panadol that I taken. Finally, today I feel more like a human being. For the past few days, had been like so weak, so sicky, so dead. Running nose to cough, then fever that comes and goes and comes again. So ya, I guess I'm recovering after almost 1 week of being unwell. Thanks for looking after me when I'm in school.. hehe.


This sem is really a crazy sem. Lots of tutorials, ENDLESS, and lots of deadlines to meet. Presentation every fornight, powerpoint, IS... Breathless. No time to slack. And totally no life. Last sem still got time to go play pool, shop, moive. Hadnt even touch pool since last sem. Only watched 2 moives so far. And been to 2 shopping trip ONLY, one during the second week and one for my birthday. O ya, another one to PS on tuesday. Thats about it. haizzz


Finally yesterday cleared a big chunk of tutorial, but today, came another chunk. Lucky I finished yesterday if not today I will really have tutorials up my neck. There's a quiz tomorrow somemore!!!! haizz. close book. O my....


Never mind. Shall take things easy for now. Later at night then stress... lolz.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

i'm sick... ya. after so many years. hadnt been sick since i entered poly i think. got lah, once in laos. then never le. today in school, just in atrium only and I wore 3 layers. the thick black top, my jeans material jacket and tao's jacket. at PS, i even wore tongs sweater for my hands, which is like 4 layers? haha.. never know i can wear so many layers in singapore. the most i wore is in japan... 8 layers but not as thick as i wore today. its fun to wear so many layers but its no fun to be sick...


lucky got tao tao and tong to help me carry lap top if not i think i will die today ba.. then tao tao dropped my lao gong!!! sob sob... heart attack le.. but he also not purposely de... heng is tao tao.. if not i think i throw temper le... haha..


must ren.. tomolo must go sch then come back sleep.. lolz.. maybe take cab ba.. haha..


cold..

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Sunday.. another day of pms-ing for my dad. whatever.


Anyway, fell sick on friday. Flu. Then the fever like wanna come then dont come like that. -_-!! Don't know what my body up to. There yet not there like that. Ate med for 2 days le, and slept for the whole of 2 days, no energy to do much. Shitty feeling. But also means I got excuse to slack. lolz. Just sleep and sleep since yesterday. Stupid med, make me so sleepy. Then head like so heavy. Eat things also no taste but still have to eat if not even more no energy.


Lets see.... nothing much happened lately expect for the piles and piles of homework, my AE86... O ya, met up with nevin on friday. Then got this chat on thurs that make me wanna slap people. I'm like so innocent, getting hurt for other people actions. Argh. If anyone dare to do this to me again, I swear I'm going to kill them. Care for my feeling for abit please, thank you.


The aftermath of everything is... I'm easily scared. Scare of being alone. Scare of being ignored. Scare of people treating me coldly. Scare of people leaving. Its no fun going through it. Don't put me through it again... I'm scare of being abandon.


stress... stress over school work and life. haizz.. i need a break..


I really hope everything will go back to what it use to be. Because then, at least, I can be happy again. At least I will feel safe and secure, unlike now.


no matter what, i'm just a girl. a girl who need a shoulder to rely on when she's tired. someone to go to, when she's scare.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

2 days of celebration for my birthday! =D


15 Nov - 16 Nov

Had IS lesson in the morning which lasted for 2hours whereby we only work for 15minutes. The rest of the time, we are playing and rotting. After that tong, tao, vin and me went to library for breakfast while waiting for yh to end class. Sad le, no nachos. Went to Heeren for neoprint taking and bought the middle finger pen. =X Walked for awhile and off to PS for lunch!!!!!!!! A heavy lunch I must say and I'm just so in love with their prawns! And started to look for my tongs. Ya, wanted to get a tongs which is relatively flat. Then to Bugis which is the last stop of the day. Searched and looked for 2hours plus before I saw a pair of tongs that I wanted to buy! Got butterful de. And finally the 3guys can have a rest. haha. Been walking non-stop since after our lunch at PS. Rotted at Mos where tong and vin fell asleep while waiting for zl to come. Go his shop support him ma. Then end up I spent like $50 there for a skirt and a belt. Love them lots. Around 8 left bugis to go home.

Went to sleep at 11:45pm. End up, while I was about to fall asleep, sms-es started to come in. From 12am till 12:30am. And another at 2:13am. lolz. Got wishes from nevin, jim kai aka teddy bear, hup hua, step, sue ann and the list goes on and on. =D Woke up for school after awhile! lolz. Was late for awhile for FRM. Then the progamme for the day start from 8:30pm because there's school till 5pm. =( Watched harry porter and receive a set of sliver, include necklance, bracelet and earings. First time, someone bought me bracelet and it must had cost quite abit for my god kor. One whole set le!!!! Perlin Sliver somemore... Really make my day. lolz. Watched harry porter and its really enjoyable. Plus saw my kor's friend... then see them talk very cute. After the moive meet nevin for my present and to send me home. 12am le ma. He gave me Initial D's AE86... which I had been bugging him to make for me since I saw the moive, and he really did!!!! By hand ok... *touched* Now I got my own AE86!!!!!!!!!! 3 necklance, 2 bracelet, 1 pair of tongs, 1 doggie soft toy and a pair of earings... =D


Really got xin fu de gan jue. The effort he but into the car... being treated like a little princess for one night by my kor... and the 3 guys who follow me whenever I got for 1 whole day though they are very tired. Xie xie... =D


Really love my AE86 alot le.. how? lolz. Must buy a casing for it.. haha. hehe. Then fri going lene house to celebrate again. Belated.. haha.


today, on the bus.. i'm scare to be alone again.. i'm scare of the feeling where my friends 'disown' me.. i'm scare that i'm all alone... i don't want... i really cannot take it.. the feeling where suddenly your close friend become a stranger to you and treated you like a stranger hurts so damn much that you wish you are dead.. i'm serious.... and thats wat i'm feeling now..

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

shall bitch here first before going for my dinner.


yesterday, everyone agreed not to suan me today. but end up, keep suaning about my hair. and you still dare to say if tao there, he will suan even more. but hey, he will suan but if the other party appears not happy, he will stop! unlike you. what the f loh. do you suan someone till they walk off and not do anything able it? do you suan till the other party cried and not do anything able it? i'm like so piss. its not like you all don't know how much my hair means to me. everytime i curl my hair, you all got something to say. hey, i like it k? anything wrong against looking older than i'm suppose to look? you don't like don't means people cannot. if you got nothing nice to say about my hair, dont. it doesnt hurt not to suan me for 1 day right? for that few hours only. you know how much it hurts. ok, fine, say you don't mean it. but you sounded like you mean it when you over do it. i'm super sensitive about my hair!


i really don't wanna cry on my birthday. but when you are piss/ down or whatever, and no one around to agree with you, the feeling sucks, esp on your birthday! put yourself in my shoes.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

stupid stupid.. why my brother do things always never think of others. fine. he wanna study, its a good thing. but. why go private! degree... ha. it cost like 20k in total. i bet more than that to get that degree. he cant even get a dip, he wanna get a degree. f him lah. i gave up my chance for him to study a dip. and now, he wanna take away my chance again by going private. 20k. how the hell can i study after poly? can he ensure that he have enough means to pay back to my parents? face it. i still need my parents to at least partly pay my school fees if i wanna further study. how the hell can my parents support both my brother and me? how much can i support myself? stupid. i hate hate hate. i know i sound selfish. but its just that, i give up something for him, can he think of me before making a decision? we are not that well to do... i doubt i can even afford oversea studies. why cant he just get into a poly.. people who enter poly, dun really have a choice for what to study, cant study what they like. but now, he wanna study he interested in. what about me?! he should be studying something that can of use next time, not he interested in! cant he think?!


sorry. i'm really pissed. i'm really angry.
Suddenly feel so peaceful.. Just like old times. Been so long since I last stayed up so late to do something beside reading story books. Did FRM tutorial... stupid le. It's totally just copying from the notes. It's like, we had became machine to scan through pages for the right answer. For the quizes during tutorials class and for the tutorials, we can actually find the right asnwer WITHOUT understanding. So whats the point of doing? argh. Then also no idea what the lec talking about. He seems more interested in convicing us that we can earn $1m/ that FMB is our right choice/ we shouldnt be late for class. I don't wanna earn $1m, money issnt everything. I know. Because I have enough to spend yet there's something missing.


Had some problems over who going with me to watch harry porter, then end up, my god kor going with me. Cause him abit of trouble coze end up got 1 extra ticket. Then somemore he hvnt go work yet, but because I wanna watch on that day, he call his friend who is working to buy the tickets first. Then when no one go with me, he offer to when he can be working that day to earn more money. After everything, he told me it's ok, he just want me to be happy on my birthday. So touched!!!!!! Then I fell asleep with a smile on my face. haha. Been ages since someone tell me anything is ok, as long as i'm happy. =)


This week been ok I guess. Very fast one week le. But I guess I will be having problem with school work, esp the drawing and understanding the notes. Trying to tune back and I shall go out more!!!! Or rather, sleep less. haha.


Then another touching thing... my nanny aka kai wah aka kel wished me happy birthday today because he flying off to don't know where and wont be in singapore on that day. So touched!!! So sweet of him. =D thanks.


Sunday should be going to zl's shop. Then tues going out with tong they all... wed harry porter... fri maybe meet lene... or some other day for dinner...


xinfu.


i'm totally lucky to have friends who dote on me. to make me feel xin fu.
but i still find myself waiting.
waiting to hear you say you will celebrate my birthday with me.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Just found the article for PYM. Find till siao. *bleah*


School reopened... stress? Only when I doing my tutorial ba. Lesson time quite boring le, but off and on, we will entertain each other or self-entertain. Nice to see my friends everyday. At least something to do. But can't find the 'thing' to make myself listen in class. If you know me, you should know why.


Then today went to watch 'Sky High' with lene and jimmy. The movie is so worth it. Seriously. Been quite awhile since such a wonderful movie came out. At least from my view. Don't tell me about M-18 shows, I still can't watch them. Well, I will be able to next week. =P Anyway, if you had been to the movies recently, you would have seen the preview. Another show about super heros. And Peace is just so handsome and cool in the show, when his hair is being tied up. It's a show that will make you laugh, make you wanna slap the character because you know he is making a mistake, touch your heart when he realize who is then his true love, amaze by the powers they got, the coolness... Totally worth watching!


Shopped at Bugis, bought another eye shadow, yes yes, I know I shouldn't be spending at Red Earth, but I can't help it. I'm just so in love with their eye shadow colours. Then walked and walked till I think my legs are going to break due to the heels. It hurts.


Wondering how to survive this sem.


without you, i'm really nothing...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Today.. holiday again. Lost le. This week only got 2days' lesson. Then all sucks. The lec sucks. Lesson time nothing to compliant about, life is like that.


Still not use to getting up so early and going to school. Not use to sleeping so early, as in 11plus. Holiday always 12plus, 1plus then sleep. lolz. Trying to adjust back. Having steamboat later. hehe. But must eat fast fast so that can watch prince to frog.


Was doing face mask just now, then my mum wanna try also, then she say she wanna buy also. haha. Got sponsor le!!!! =D This month must go Bugis buy another tube le. Think 1 tube can last about 2mth plus. I don't want later use finish then hvnt buy. lolz. I'm vain, so? lolz. Just getting more vain this sem. Don't ask why. I'm just a girl. lolz.

money issnt everything, because money cant buy the happiness you felt from love.
and without it, everything that i own, seems so meaningless...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Cant sleep, so come and write something...


That night I dreamed of 4 number and asked my dad to buy, end up last weekend open 7240 when I ask him to buy 5240. Dont believe also cannot. Pray pray this week open. Then will have some income and thus I no need to work the coming holiday also. ok, I'm thinking too far..


Just now before I went to lay on my bed, I have these butterflies in my stomach, feeling so unrest, so unsecure, like something bad is going to happen. Hard this feeling. I hate to feel insecure.


Feeling insecure let people hurt you more easily, let yourself get hurt more easily, make you feel so open to be hurt. Don't like. Totally hate this feeling. So unsafe...

i tot i can,
but i cant.