i duno what on earth i had been doing these 2 days.. not studying.. not doing anything.. just always online and tv. wasting my time away. risking failing my pjm. what the hell... why appear at such a nice timing and mess up my exams??!!!


hate you hate you HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i need a break...

Just woke up and then got piss with my brother again. My grandma asked me to bake something for dinner then need to use the mini oven, when I open, the tray is still there! Obiviously from the previous use which is my brother! Really wanna shout at him in his face. First he ate the noodles my aunt bought me, then the lemon chicken which is like $4.50 a packet and now this. I hate coming home early when he's around. No peace.


Then this morning, my IS lesson started at 8, but I'm still happily sleeping on my bed at 8! Wow. This is the first time I'm so late! Caught a cab down which cost me a bomb. Sob. I don't want to use that $40. Have to be careful with what I eat for this week le. I guess crying make you tired? Cant believe I woke up so late!!! Anyway, today last lesson.


cy refuse to take photo with me. So sad. Then he say not like wont see each other in school anymore ma. lolz. He say 1 ar. If never see him in school le sure force him to a picture. haha.


And I did something that I'm very proud of myself; not alighting the bus and take a cab. But the aftermath is not good. Shall not comment here. =)


Last of IS class, only shows how fast tests and exams are coming. Shall bury myself in pjm and ieq. Doing what I did 2 years ago. So stress...

Just when I thought that my skirt cannot get any shorter... I bought 1 skirt that is damn short!!! Really is just cover the pi gu!!! haha.. But I damn happy... but then I swear that is how short my skirt will go. Not any shorter!! lalala... ppl dun like. lolz..


Then walked around PS with lene. On the train back home talked about 18th birthday. Then planned that when I 18, we go clubbing or pub to celebrate. Coze her classmates also those guai guai de.. then mine also. So we say we go together with zl.. then invite cy along? anyway zl know cl. I told my dad, he say ok. But then cannot get drunk lah.


Then we went to spotlight to get cloths to make as 'belt'. Those you see that is selling outside now. Damn ex le. They sell like 10 over got 1. Then we buy the cloth onli like $1.50 per piece. lolz.. then ask my mum to sew the ends for us. So ya, will get it next week. hehe. Clever hor?


Suddenly miss ham ham alot. Your fault lah. No online. Then online you put busy.. BLEAH!!!!

Looking into the mirror
I saw someone
A girl who has my hair, my eyes, my nose
Someone who looks exactly like me


But somehow
There’s something different


Something inside her had died
Someone had mercilessly left her to die
O, now I remembered
He left me to die that night


Now I know
There’s something different


I called him one night
When I left so alone, so depress
He took ages to get to the phone
All he said was he’s busy


Looking into the soul
There’s something different


With his own hands
He slide the final cut on my heart
With that, I prepared myself for my last night
All because he let me


Deep down
There’s something different


From that night
Nothing the same anymore
Day by day I lived aimlessly
Dieing a bit everyday


Look into me
There’s something different


I wish he would have save me
Like he used to
But
He’s the one who kill me


Nothing else changes

Forgotten what time I slept last time. Was happily reading Baby Blues' comics and chatting with ham ham after I read through PJM once that I almost didnt want to sleep. Basically when I read PJM, it's going in and out at the same instant. haha. Before that was cursing myself for not able to write IEQ report. I hate it alot when I'm lost at how to write a report esp when I can just write off a paragraph or two for my friend when I'm in Year 1. So ya, I do get piss off with myself when I'm not able to write one or got stuck. Then somemore, I got stuck there for like half a day. Basically spent the whole day writing that stupid IEQ report.


But!!!! I had my long waited Zinger Burger yesterday for breakfast cum lunch. And steamed fish for dinner. And ham ham came back!!!! So I guess overall it's still a good day. At least, ham ham is back. lalalala.


Then woke up today, chatted with cy. hehe.


I like to thank all of you who are in my life now!!! Esp cl, ham ham and cy. Everytime I'm down they will be willing to listen to me, forgoing things that they rather be doing and listen to me. XIE XIE NI MENG!!!!! If not coze of you all, i dun think i can survive till now... =)


*doubt things will be the same*

fuck le.. i dunno how to continue writing the ieq report... HELP ME!!!!

The question that is ringing in my mind "why did i miss the bus today?"


It might sound crazy as to help I want to board that bus. I rather get it over and done with. If I'm a strong believer of fate, I would say I'm fated not to see them together. Because I miss the bus by a mere minute or so which is caused by my new slippers which slow down my walking speed. It's this small little unnoticeable thing that made me miss the bus. You might say it means that I'm fated to miss the bus. What the.... haizz


Anyway, I'm so tired. It's only 11:35pm and I'm tired. Sleepy. Never sleep in class today. lolz.


I hope I have the courage to msn/ sms you.


Thanks cy for listening to me, causing him not to sleep for 1 hour. And I saw him today. =D

Super Star

Just now, Derrick was the first to sing, Liao Jie, by Sun Yan Zi. Really got touched by the song till I wanna cry. Jun Yang's also.


It's like because of this progamme, I got to know how to 'get touched' by songs, really listen to the lryics, feel for it. I don't know it's good or bad. Because ever since then, I got touched by songs way too easily. Everything is link back to him once again.


'coze i understand, i'm sad. coze i understand, i'm not able to. and till now, i still treasure everything'


Had IBT test today. Finished in like 35mins or lesser. And guess what, I got 35.5 out of 40. Actually no need guess lah. Those who are reading this should know. lolz. So happy!!! Ya, show that actually I can do it. It's just a matter whether I want to or not. So ya, I will do it once again. Can't let those who believe in me down right? =D


As you know, my SIM card got 'rejected' by phone. Called 1633, then that guy attitude so I attitude back. Called my mum, then meet her at UOB building. Got a replacement of SIM card for free but then I lost all my data in it. Luckily the numbers are save in my phone instead of the card, but my old sms-es from nokia phone is gone. New start? Actually their service center the service quite good. lolz.


Walked around, saw Noda, went to see see and bought a pair of heels slipper? lolz. Don't know whats its call. Wearing it tomorrow ba. My mum paid for me. haha. THANKS!!!


Came home, she cooked soup for me and had dinner. So xin fu today.


i miss ham ham...


*you came into my mind together again. and i was thinking. what am i waiting for all these years? and till now i can't find an answer. the answer is with you*

Had my ISP presentation today and it well pretty well. It lasted for almost 8minutes or more. =) And Amy said my presentation is good but there's room for improvement. It seems good enough to hear all these because she never say others' was good. One more did, but she never analysis. Hope I can get an A for this project. Confrim is B and above because there's analysis in it and description which is the 'at least'. And I was the first one. So ya, I'm pretty happy with myself. Worth the hard work.


Then sitted there for the next 3hours plus listening to others. Some, I really didnt get what they are saying and started to get restless... =X Still got 5 people havnt represent. Not enough time. So they gonna do it next week. And next week is our last lesson!!! Actually I will kind of miss ISP but then also, finally, no need to wake up at 6 in the morning to go school!!! Today was like so tiring. Slept on the bus to school and also when I took the bus to jurong east. Then while waiting for my turn to see doctor, I felt asleep too.. So tired that I gave up and took cab home. =X Ex le.. $4.90. lolz. But then, don't care, tired. Reached home, never eat, just go and sleep till 6plus. I guess around 2 to 3 hours of napping. Really very tired.


Woke up, bathe, dad called. Asked me is there anything I want him to buy coze he's at clementi. Then he bought soup for me. hehe. Love my dad!!! Coze today weather very cold, then I bathe come out wanna have something hot for dinner, so soup is the best choice. Today dinner is a feast! Normally weekdays dinner we do not have no many dishes. There's home cooked ones and also soup, curry chicken and black sauce chicken. See... so yummy. The soup was really heavenly!!! Ate quite alot. Then I was there telling my father to come home faster coze I very hungry. haha.. Really hungry till don't know what.


So full from dinner that I never sit down for awhile, watched tv till 8:30, then came online...


Sian. Tomorrow got test... hope can score? But doubt so!!! I don't know how to draw that stupid flow chart!!


Miss ham ham. Never see him online for 2days or so le. ham ham!!!!!


I would like to thanks those who had helped my in my ISP project!! xie xie ni meng. And did you all notice something? It always rain on tuesday for this half of the sem. Confrim chop chop. It had been raining every week, those weeks that I had been in school lah, coze got 1 week we went to ACM.


*i shall burn my notes and drink*

_x_how are you doing these days? happy ma?_x_

*yawn* Now waiting for CPM report.. and I will be off to my bed. Tired. Never nap today.


Thanks cy for chatting with me and he never fails to make me smile even though I'm so pek chek. Cooled me down. But then also because he did not know what's going on. Really very funny. Then asked me check his ppt, crap alot. hehe. The usual? Then 'nagged' at him to stop smoking. Told him I hate to see my friend smoke then he say don't worry, he won't smoke on Tuesday. haha. Then talking about manicure, told him I like french manicure, don't like pattern pattern de, then tell me he like french kissing, don't like pattern kissing. lolz. Got pattern kissing de meh?? Anyway, ya, he made me smile again today.


Did nothing much yesterday. Woke up only at 11plus coze I slept at only 3plus due to my projects. Then yesterday slept at 1plus. Then my mum scold me.. weekend always sleep so late then whole day like sleeping only. Then when they sleeping I do my things. But only at those weird weird hours no one in the living room to distract me ar.. Somemore no tv show also.. lolz


Sad le. Never manage to complete reading any books for these two weeks. Too busy with stuffs I guess. Then that ham ham say I look more like everyday shopping and not those staying at home to study type!!! hummpf.


Thinking to go cut hair again. Had another blow the other day. haizzz... but I don't bear to cut away my long hair!!! Spent so much money on it.


Tomorrow having CPM presentation, tuesday having ISP presentation, then wednesday having IBT test... haizzz... I wanna die le lah..

After 2weeks, I saw him again. And the first thing that came into my mind is fuck. I don't even have to look at his face to know he's there. Scaning through is enough. Lucky tao tao there with me. And lucky I no need to take 154 home. Took 157.


Did part of my ISP project today. Thanks guys!! Hope it turns out ok. Shall plan the ppt later.


Today chatted in the morning with ham ham.. so happy.. hehe.. Then during the talk saw Mickey Mouse. So happy.


Don't know what to write le. Not in the mood... O ya.. saw cy today also.. hehe..


Some guys are for looking only....

Suddenly felt very tired. Been easily tired nowadays. So pig... Maybe sleep early? But tomorrow 10 then lesson if sleep early abit wasted..


Anyway, today went to ACM. Quite fun. It's really interesting to see how other tribes are living, so basic, so naturally, unlike us. Saw the video and it reminded me of Laos. The simple life they life as compared to us. Compare to the tribes, Laos seems so much better. So ya, imagine the difference. It's like, in this modern world, somewhere in a small area in some country, there's still people who believe in legends, believing that it's the man who is to bring all the food to the table and the women to weave clothes and take care of the house, living in a world without electricity BUT fearing the customs will stop. Even saw some of the items there. Should go there again sometime. Ngee Ann Poly as a member school, we no need to pay!! haha. And one interesting thing is the head hunting, meaning, the man go to hunt down the enemy, take the skull and do craving on it before he can marry! O mine. I wont want my husband to be so... so violent? lolz..


And, now then I realize my ISP project is due NEXT TUESDAY!! And I have do.. lolz... haiz.. nvm.. tomorrow will do le..


After that went to meet my bao bei cl at town to go shop around. I really buy till nothing to buy go buy a water bottle. haha. Just wanna spend!!


Took 174 home... slept half way of the jounery. After it passed NP, can't sleep anymore and just got restless.. again.. sob. Then now, so tired again. Don't know whats happen to my body...


somehow, i seems to be standing there again. waiting. waiting for you to walk with me again. will you?

Today, I saw something interesting in Jurong Point Library's toilet.


Ok, this little girl, not more than 4-5 years old went into one of the toilet stall herself. While the mum went to another one. Then that mum never teach her daughter what is open and close of the door. Then the daughter accidentally lock the door and ended up, the daughter got scared and cried and climbed out through the door gap! How terrible is this? Then the mother still can scold the daughter and asked her whether she still dare to lock the door or not and not comforting her to stop crying!


What kind of a mother is her? Since you know your daughter does not know how to lock and unlock the door, you should have went in with her! That's what my mum do till I knew how to lock and unlock the door, even then, for the early stages, she will wait outside my door! At first I thought, maybe it's the designer fault, but after awhile, I felt it's the fault of the mother. In my nearly 18 years of living, I had never saw such a thing happen before; the mum going into 1 toilet and the daughter to another.


Come on, how could it be the fault of the person who design the toilet? If what the little girl faced is really a problem, the government would have changed the door lock design. I still cannot belived what the mum did. Letting her daughter go to the toilet herself without telling her how to lock and unlock the door! Ok, so you might say the mum had already told the little girl not to lock the door, but how the hell is the little girl suppose to know what is lock and what is unlock? Somemore, the door is not suitable for a little girl her age to open! And the mum just happily went to the handicap's and pee, leaving her daughter on her own. She could have well bring her along into the handicap's toilet, it's big enough! Then the poor little girl had to climb through the door gap. Imagine how tiny she is and how scare she must had been to do so.


Besides this little incident I saw, my mum and I walked by a tour agency and saw this tour to NZ that is 11days with farm stay which costed at least 3.5k!!! But I very much wanna go!!! =X I'm spoilt, sue me! haha...

SO HOT!!! O my tian o my di...


Been quite awhile since I last wrote so I guess some updates, ya?


Cant really remember what happened these days, stm. Let's see... thurs had tutorial first, discussing about IEQ project, chatting with ham ham, then FEN tutorial... Wanted to see cy, but didnt get to. *sad* Then that stupid ham ham did some stupid stuffs!!! *bish* After tutorial, tong, cl and me waited at mr chan's car to take a car ride over to blk 34. haha. Abit lame lah, but fun!! Too bad he got no son, if not cl and me sure fight. lolz.


Play around during the lab lesson, lame around then very fast our last FEN lab lesson le. So fast. SOB!! Took pictures at the lab room. haha. Can't remember which canteen we went to.. Canteen 3? Think so. Then never eat, just drink, then went over to Library to eat nachos.. hehe. Rot there till we grow worms le.


Had pjm quiz which we finished in like 10mins? As usual. hehe.


Pei cl over to canteen 1, then to canteen 2 then back to PJM lesson. Didnt listen in class. Then on friday I still go admit in front of lec that I never listen. Since the lec know I never listen, no need act guai guai what... hehe.


Friday went for Sakae Sushi instead of fireballs. =X 100 over people le. Wo Bu Yao! Nothing much. Just rotted and all...

Complicated. That's all I can say what is on my mind. It had been so long since things are so complicated till I don't even know how to write them down. Imagine how lost I am now...


So I guess I will take things as they come. Just wanna have fun. Since school reopens never been out besides going to school. Haiz. Rushing projects what to do? Stress till I don't know how to say.


Sms-ed cy and so shocked he entertain me.. haha. One of my fv guy friend. Cute cute but a bit to the bad boy side too.


Haizz... really dont know how to continue. Write later ba. Lost till I just wanna have some fun....

Taking a short break to write an entry before reading up my PJM. Actually wanna use tonight to study abit but end up, used the WHOLE night to do the IEQ and my IS thingy.


Napped on the bus just now. Reached home, did some reading and went to rest awhile. Cant sleep. Just lay there for awhile. After dinner started on my IEQ le.. Then calling here and there to rush people to finish their IEQ. Everyone did their best to rush give me their part of the report, for this, I wanna thank all of you. I'm really happy that we all manage to finish it in just these few hours of time. If not because of you all, it wont be possible.


The kick of rushing and handleing so many things at one time is really a very good feeling. But also scold f alot of time. All cl fault!!! Always f here and there.. then I also f here and there. Anyway, it's over. Taking a break. haha.


Also must thanks cy for helping me de-stress.. lolz. Ya, I really like talking to you. =)


Now that IEQ and PJM is down.. need to move on to CPM and IEQ project. Hopefully FEN can finish by tuesday. Then more or less, we are there.


For now.. really dont wanna sink in.

I was like so damn happy before I went to bathe and now this?!


Anyway, my NZ trip was being cancel.. BUT I'm going to China in Oct. Yes yes, I'm that despo that I will do ANYWHERE! So don't be surpise that I'm going to China. But, ya, it's a surpise to my mum and dad because I had declare since I got hook by travelling that I'm not going to China and here I am going to China at my own will. Now you can imagine how despo I am to willingly go China. It would be a 10days trip. Just nice come back singapore, rest a while and back to school.


And, because my dearest ham ham is having his holiday in April 06, I would be (if according to plan) fly over to canada in April for 2weeks the most. And because of this, I think I have to go work for awhile to earn abit or pocket money for my school days because I cant use the money in the bank anymore if I wanna fly there myself without my mum tagging along which is what I want. haha. So ya, I have to save to go there. The air tickets itself cost quite alot because it's SO FAR! 20hours of flight. And the first trip that I will really relax because there's no places to rush to. If I want, can just even rot in the room for 2wks. haha. He said ok but he have to find a place first because during holiday they cannot stay in their dom. I'm so happy when he said that it's no problem that I go over. =) *big smile*


*dancing around for awhile*


Then came out, vin ask me to ieq report. wt... better pray I have the mood to do it tonight. If not I will just throw to other peopel to do. Don't like last minute for school work.


Cant wait to go oversea. hehe. And to see ham ham... Yesterday I got abit jealous when he mention that a girl went offline then he there, just a friend, not her. stupid ham ham..


And I told my mum, if I am to go U next time. I will work part time as a insurance agent. And maybe I will go work in the tour agency whereby I just need to bring the people to another country then follow. No need intro the place de. And I will earn lots of money so I can treat my mum to touring!!! haha. Maybe should find a work that can let me travel here and there.. haha

I'm such a pig. I'm a pig!!! Ok, I slept at 2plus, woke up at 7 today. Then at nearly 10am, I went to sleep again till 11:40am after which I went back to sleep at 1pm till 4plus!!!!!!

You say I pig or not? But still I'm tired.. haha. gonna do my pjm after dinner. for now. just relax and enjoy...

0222 now.. and I had finished my FEN report!!!!!! Not all but those that I can find. So happy. Then while doing chatted with ham ham.. hehe. xin fu. got people to pei wo through the night. First time!

Still got some parts I cannot find and don't understand. Never mind. Shall ask Mr Chan on monday. Now shoulder very 'sour'. Then tomorrow still have to go market. Hope can wake up. Then now ham ham watching tv. haha..

Tomorrow think gonna do PJM project or something. Cooking again on Sunday. Have to find one day to do tutorials le... lacking behind.. CPM can only start when mr tan approve the proposal.

really had fun with ham ham.. hehe.. think i should go sleep le.. just now already kenna chased..

Dont feel like smiling today again...

Saw a familiar stranger yesterday whom I forced myself to look away from...

Somehow.. I'm lost again. I look into myself, aimming to find you somewhere, but you only exist in my memory that is dated far back. Where are you? I don't want to walk alone. You know this. But you still walk in the other direction...

Anyway, yesterday was a tiring today. After school still went to Library to search for some information for PJM project. Quite fun. Waited for quite awhile for 154. Reached home at nearly 8pm. Watched superstar... then went online. Chatted with cheng yang for awhile and then went to research for FEN project.

Lots of project aka report to write.. Hope can score..

Bored. Now sitting in school waiting for PJM lec to come for tutorial. Didnt do his tutorial this time round. Was really tired everyday.. Dont ask me why, I also don't know. Later need start on FEN and then meeting my IS friend for the ISP project.. Project..Project and more Project... haizzz..

_x_waiting_x_
waiting for the day you are walking with me again

got another part of my pay!!!! so happy!!!!! lalalalalala *dancing around*

Suppose to write this entry yesterday but was too tiring (both physically and mentally) to do so.

Morning was alright, reached school way too early but then saw tao tao. *smile* Then walked in together, went online, lame around while waiting for the rest to arrive. Vin was like almost 1hour late. lolz. When he reached, we all took turns suan-ing him. Mr Tan even helped me to bluff him that lesson is over. haha. Damn funny. Laughed non-stop for quite awhile till my stomach hurts from the laughing.

Meet up with tong they all to go JE. For awhile was quite high because I saw my IS friend, yx and zl. Was tired but cant sleep on the bus ride.

Reached le, went for lunch first as all of us (tong, vin, cl and me) were damn hungry. No breakfast you know? Then waited for tong and vin to cut their hair, walked here and there then decided to go Kbox.

After a few songs, I cried. I wanna say something first.. not coze is tong sing then I cry de!!!!! It's the song.. not the person who sing in kbox!!! haha. Keep crying for a few songs, but after that felt better. Think I refuse to let it flow for the past few days and so it started to yesterday. As if tap water. Since when I become cry baby?! o my.. Anyway, crying is a healing process, so at least I let it out and I will feel better after that. But then, er.. don't ask me why I cry le. Seriously hor, when the tears flow nothing is on my mind. I swear.

After that took the train home, saw my mum. Reached hom, prepare for ppt, tv and that's all.

TODAY

Had my IS presentation. Saw tao tao.. so happy. It wasnt really a success but it wasnt a failure either. Passable I think.

Slept on the bus. Just put my head there close my eyes and suddenly I open my eyes and I'm approaching JP. So fast. Maybe too tired? Gonna sleep later.. nvm.

Going down to JE later for a brief for the NZ trip. Cant wait to go oversea. To get away from here for awhile. lalala.

Just finish writing the script for my IS presentation this tuesday...Was feeling abit tired just now but now, I'm so AWAKE!

Let's see.. Woke up today at 9:30, had breakfast and went over to help my aunt prepare a big feast for dinner. Lots of cutting and cooking to do. Cut my finger even. I super heng, everytime when I cut my finger, it never bleed because it just cut that thin layer of skin and not over till it bleed. How skillful is this? haha.

Went for a much needed nap at around 5 and woke up at 6 plus for the dinner!!! Really lots to eat. And I really ate alot today. My 2nd puberty. haha. 1 plate of noodles, 2 popiah, 2 slices of pizza and YET I dont feel abit full. I even drank down 1 cup of water. How wonderful is this? I'm eating wwwaaayyy too much. And I dont even feel abit full! haha. Not a good thing. Shall not eat so much next time. When I told kai, he asked me to remain my size. lolz.

After dinner, family problem again. Mum shouted at brother. But I just went online. Don't wanna care. Tired. Dont wish to go into details.

Saw kai online and chatted. *smile* And chatted with this guy I know from my IS class. Cute guy and all those cute icons he has. Chatted with cl too. And somehow, found myself smiling at my laptop screen. haha. Thanks guys, for making me smile.

Hopefully tuesday presentation will goes well. Tomorrow only having 2hours of lesson!!! How great is that?

miss ham ham

haha.. when i put in my nick that ham ham had disappeared, he told me he never, he's here. lolz.