Its the 4th week this week.

Everyday is still as crazy as ever. But luckily with more people coming in, the burden on me is lessen-ing. Time to concentrate on organizing and preparing to settle down on this. Like what my colleague told me, I still have some time to adjust because I still can use the excuse that I'm new. But how long others can be forgiving and overlook this? Not too long. Being young and inexperience doesnt help.

Today I heard this conversation. Someone in another department was trained for two years before this role was given to her. And two years later, shes pretty successful and comfortable with what she is doing. Its a total different case. I cant help but question whether this is the right choice or not. Its a good experience, but am I really up to it?

So far everyone had been encouraging. But how far will this goes? Eventually one by one, they will not be as forgiving.

Boyfriend had been very encouraging. Without him I doubt I can walk this far. Its the thought of knowing he's waiting for me to end work that kept me going for the past three weeks. And with all the late nights, we both felt sick. Recovering now, but still as tired as ever.

Hopefully everything can settle down soon so that I will have more time for other stuffs. I miss going to gym.

Dar, thank you for being there for me and pull me through this period. I really appreciate and thankful you were there to cheer me up. To listen to my compliants everyday. To tell me to jia you. It was really sweet of you. You didnt have to come down all the way, but you did. Sorry for making you worry. I promise I will take care of myself when you arent around.

Im filled with tonnes and tonnes of happiness this week.

Since Monday, boyfriend had been accompanying me for dinner every single day. At first I thought its purely because he's free in camp. It was only these two days then I realize its because he wants to make sure I have my dinner as I hadnt been having proper meals for quite awhile and its doing no good to my gastric and weight.

I love the feeling.

At work I would need to handle quite abit of stuffs. But once I stepped out of the office, I'm his. Just his silly girlfriend still. Nothing of that changes. This is what they call 'xiao nu ren' I guess. =)

Happiness is really just so simple.
Little gesture to show you care.

Someone told us he's envious of our relationship.
Our reply to him is this:
'This is what you see on the surface, but underneath it are disagreements and struggles that no one really sess or understand. But we do love each other. And as a respect for each others, we do not throw temper at each other in the public.'

We are really two very lucky individuals.

My life had been pretty exciting recently.

It was so exciting that Im getting nightmares again.

Work had been crazy since last week. New role, new duty. I cant say I can do a very good job in this, but I will definitely try my best. Thats the very least I can do. Theres many people who are very supportive and encourage me to take this up. I worry about the sudden increase in responsibilities and the well-being of others. I worry whether am I good enough to fulfill the gap. Its an overnight thing which theres no time for response, to rearrange. All theres left is surviving on a day-to-day basis and try to do as much as possible, till I manage to handle things on my own. Hopefully everything can settle down in 3 months. Theres normally how much one will take to adjust to a new environment. Wish me luck! =)

Had a short cooling off period with boyfriend. Dont ask me why, dont ask me what happen. Its over and the why is not important anyway. Whats important is that we are still good and together. It was a painful period for me, but I managed through with the constant sms and dinner dates with friends. Thank you!! Someone just cant be replace easily. I wont say I cant live without him because eventually we all move on, but I will be in pain without him. I guess to him its the same, thats why we are still together. This is what we want. Hopefully we can get what we want too. *cross fingers and toes*

Mr Gastric had been back to bug me, as such, boyfriend had been nagging again. Since Im back from the trip, I'm pretty sick of butter/jam bread, hence, no breakfast. Lunch is a must as I didnt had breakfast. But half the time, I cant stomach enough to last through the day. Dinner was super late recently due to OTs. Hence, Mr Gastric came back. Its not comfortable. Weird eating hours make me gain weight too! I hate it.

Been spending quite abit recently too. Bought some stuffs from Bobbi Brown that already cost me nearly $200, new dresses from Moonriver (1 for dinner later this month and 1 for work and whats-not), new sunglass from Dior which is already $350, 3 months worth of contact lens. All in one week. Shopping make me feels happier. Retail therapy I guess. Thats the only way to tell myself that working is worth it. Sad right?

So ya, basically, my life had been a super happening rollercoaster. Interesting huh? But I doubt anyone will want this. Hopefully 3 months later I can say Im a brave girl because I survived the toughest part already. =)