am drunk... lolz. or rather, a bit more wine and I will be drunk.

I swear I will not drink anymore. Why I got both my parents genes of turning red. My aunt and cousin dont. argh..


little red me in my aunt house.

how long had it been.. 1yr? if counting in the time at zl's, then less than 1 yr ba. cant remember also...

i promise i will stay away from drinking.. lolz..

but.. this wine taste better than the rest i had before.. not so bitter. but.. i still dun like red wine..

I dont want teddy to go ns... dont want... sob sob.. He bookin in on the 7 of april. Which left like one month. haiz.. what will become of me when he go ns. =(

Went to market as usual today, but not in the mood to think of what to buy and how to cook them. Abit 'unbalance' from not enough sleep I guess. When I told teddy, he said i'm only human. *smile* So anyway, came home quickly and went to SLEEP! Ya. I'm that lack of sleep. Woke up at nearly noon to snack around, which ended up somehow like a heavy meal. Cleared all my notes away in the box. Now then I realized I only have 3 sets of notes this sem. After that took a long long bath. I L-O-V-E long bath. To wash away all the tireness, unhappiness (which I doesnt have currently of course). Only a at least 30 minutes bath can give me that refresh-ness. *big smile*

Came out, online, and caught teddy online! Of course cannot let go this chance of pestering him right? haha. Have a long chat till 3plus. Love chatting with him. Can chat about meaningless stuff to meaningful stuffs with him. And also to learn new words at time. Ya, he loves to throw in big words once in awhile and make me go find it in the dictionary when him heself is a living walking dictionary.

Dine out today. Yummy food. And to NTUC. Stupid, doesnt have the plum that I want. Am very fussy about the fruits that enter my mouth. lolz. My mum always say that if the fruit is inexpensive, I wont eat. Which is NOT true!!! Bananas are cheap! But then again, my fv grapes are expensive. haha.

And while I'm just rotting my day away, I'm damn tired now. Dont ask me why. Am just tired. I need my sleep... And I want my teddy....

Hope he get to be able to fly the plane so he will be send over to France for studies and so I can fly over and visit him! *super duper big smile*

p.s. teddy saw them in jp last week, and downgraded 2grades. -_-!! *no comments*

And my silly cousin thought my fcuk white top is real stuff. *even no comments* It's only $6. haha.

Met up with vincent, jas and tong for hi-tea buffet at westmall today... xin fu right? lolz.

And I was shocked to see this..

Can you believe it? The washroom sign is being drew onto the paper and then coloured by COLOUR PENCIL! Wow... the management for Westmall is really budget. Must go study budget control, chapter 9 of PYM notes. haha.

Was pretty bored and hungry while waiting for ah tong...

so, we took out hunger out on all these display...

And just went vincent decided to went up the level that he's in, he came down! Should have went up earlier. lolz.


This is a MUST have when you go to Sakae. Its the must Japanese Sotong Ball in Singapore. Dont look down on it's size. Its really done to perfection. Crispy on the outside and soft in the inside. Even though it's small in size, there's LOTS of sotong's tail in it, give give the softness an additional QQ feeling. The taste will be just right for your taste buds. One plate can never be enough for you!


And for some reasons.. this 2 person here, doesnt have the 'face' to face the world. Wonder what they did behind our back....


This is like that best pic of me today. Know why? Coze cant see my face!!!!!! Cant stand my own pics nowadays if I'm without any makeup.

tong.. dun kill me... =X


Okay, this is the pic that everyone is fighting to get a shot of!!!!!!


Prove of my words...

And the food in Tong's mouth, its actually Mochi Dumpling. Its the new dessert of Sakae for buffet. How should I introduce this snack? hmm... The skin is pretty skin, and its not sticky like the normal taiwanese mochi. And the fillings is green bean paste which is VERY SWEET! Just like how Japanese like them.


At first we all though the different colour is of different favours, but end up, they all taste the same. I personally like the red and green colour. Starting to like colourful things... Maybe there's starting to have colours in my world! lolz. Dont think too much into this. Anyway, its really worth trying, but not when you are full from all the sushi-s, hand rolls, fried food from the rest of the menu! lolz.


The main character here is the blue plate. On it is the 2 mochi that we cant finish and decided to put it on the belt to share it with others. However, please dont think that this will happen the next time you go for Sakae, because it will only happen when we are there. =D


Wasabi that is 5 times stronger than the normal wasabi! Those with courage, go ahead and try it.. I shall give it a pass.. I cant even stomach normal wasabi. haha.

And the last pic for today... I present..

As usual, this is a glass of green tea mix with wasabi and soya sauce.

Had lots and lots of laughters today. And there's this not bad looking waiter there and one waiter which has cute reaction. Everyone is like so full after eating for 2 hours. Full from food and laughters!! Been so long since we went together to sakae and the table we sat at is the same that we sat at in our year 1 days.

After that, vin, tong and me went to catch a movie, Pink Panther. LAME! Its a super duper lame show! If you are looking for a show that can make you laugh from the moment the show starts to the second its ended, this is the show to go for! Stupid show. But at the same time wonderful. haha.

this is like the most nicest looking on google! sucks.. teddy looks so much better than this.. lol. take look again ba. any idea where to get huggable teddy bear??? let me know kk? =)

i'm happy. for now.

First thing first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD!!!!


xin fu hor, got cake. i hadnt had birthday cakes for ages. the only time since my kids days was the one i ate in laos.

Anyway, had my last paper today. Quite happening.. lolz.

As you all know, my lao gong aka lappy had a spoilt key and the cd-rom is not working. And today, I decided to bring it to mel to send it to toshiba for repair. HOWEVER, once it reached mel and the person start the checking, he's is perfectly ALRIGHT! I dont know to laugh or to get mad at him. Smiling and yet mad at the same time. Really is dont see coffin wont cry. Divorce him then he know. bleah. Then my friend said because he want me to bring him out, and of course, ended up bringing him for a 'walk' all over bugis. -_-!! xin fu de lappy right?

PYM paper yesterday was pretty ok. FRM paper today was harder, but I guess I did ok. Wont be as badly as my test. Finished it in 1hr. I think my fastest paper so far, as in in exam. Second to went out of the room, not a surpising thing. Its common. lolz. Saw that lec in library and he said I finish too fast. -_-!! Finish fast also got wrong ar? I still think I did too slow le. For PYM I used 1.5 hr and its like so damn long loh. Hardly use so much time. I see no point in doing the paper slowly, answers wont come to you no matter how slowly you do if you dont know the answer. If you know, you will know the first time round. No need to stare at the paper, answers wont appear. Thats what I believe in. My brother too. lolz. And ever since I enter poly, I never really check my answers, only flip through to see whether I miss out any questions. =D

some pics... =D


how i look on the day of PYM paper. lolz. yaya, its in a lift. lolz. very long never take pic of myself liao hor... haha..


Purple is the new black colour this year round!!!!! See, I can see into the furture. Bought it before 2006. lolz..

Exam over, time to get a job. Then my parents told me its ok if I dont work. WAHAHAHAHA. But have to work lah. If not my 7370 how? See how ba..

Itching to spend money, but cant find anything that caught my eyes. Last time can spend 100 plus in one day easily, but now, 20 also hardly reach. -_-!!

ya, i'm free... call me out!!!!!!

i really at the edge of going mad le. stupid frm. dun even know what that person is teaching loh. stupid. hate.

hopefully i survive tomorrow. hopefully i manage to squeeze something into my tiny little brain. i dun wanna get a c....

hope teddy get all As tomorrow... he deserve the best.. he takes all my stupidness, unreasonable thinking, what my shit... so ya, he deserve A!!! esp in bio and english!

really wanna go crazy le. i know i shouldnt be thinking of such a thing after so long. but habits die hard ar. i know its never going to happen. never mind, i not making sense here. only i know what i thinking...

Tomorrow is the start of my exam which will last for two days. And yet, I still can happily come and blog this entry! -_-!!

Just bored. Bored of staying at home, bored of staring at my notes, bored of not about to shop.

Nothing much to look forward to after the exam. Lene flying off to indonesia, so will be going out with jim and ju ming when they free, then find sec sch friend go out, find job, thats about it. Only when lene comes back, the main part will start! lolz.

Wont be online from wednesday onwards. Sending my lappy to get it fix. So ya, you all know how 'fast' toshiba is in their customer service.

Korean trip is being confrimed. My mum going down to pay the fees today.

Need to see skin doc after exam, bring my grandma to get med, find some money to spend, books to read, vcds to watch.

Have this urge to buy plates and bowls. lolz.

must get job, so i can buy my 7370. my mum never object when i told her its 300plus currently. lolz.. think changing phone when the price drop ba, if not will just stick to my k700.

good luck for a-level students on getting ur results!!!!
good luck to poly people on exams!!! lolz..

Desire.

my current affair.

cl's fault. say she in love with 6111 then i go see, ended up looking at 7370. lolz. Its too damn chio to look like a phone. Its an accessory! I never love k750 so much even. After k700, this is the only phone I like so much. But then, the price is very nice also. $300 plus currently. Just like when k700 just came out. Will I be able to get my hands on them, I wonder. At the same time, I really have some reserve of changing back to Nokia, but then again, Sony Ericsson doesnt have any nice phone now, they keep coming out with 3G phones only! Stupid.

Human desire for beauty will never change. Not even after another zillion years.

p.s had another cha siew bao today. =X

introducing....

Monster Bao. *lolz*

My mum created this monster. Had this craving for cha siew bao since yesterday night. So just now while watching tv with my mum at 9pm, I song the bao bao song which is made up of all the bao you can name on this earth to her. Then she 'cursed' me that tonight while I'm sleeping, lots and lots of bao-s will rain onto me. Evil right? Where got mum like that curse her own daughter de?

After thinking of lots and lots of ways to get my hands on cha siew bao, the fastest and only way is to get my dad to buy home from JP. Just nice, his call came from JP. So ya, got my bao. 2 somemore!!! wahahaha... *xin fu*

cant sleep even though i'm tired... haizz..

Pardon me.. I'm just bored. haha..

this is the famous monster wanton from NP Canteen 3.


Rainbow...

just testing.. lolz..

S. Korean, going there soon. 2 months later I will be there. Choosen mid of april to go, to see cherry blossom. Heard its white cherry blosoom there. Japan's was pink cherry blossom. Was so high since my mum confrimed with me which tour to go to. Then just saw another tour group, so got to compare between them again tomorrow. *xin fu*

However, my brother is kind of upset able it. His last trip with my mum was to Hong Kong. After that my mum never bring him oversea already. And that was the only trip my mum never bring me along. But after that I did went there a few years later. Then its to japan, the first trip my bro never went to. Laos trip with school, and now korean! lalalala.

I earned it myself k? If I was like him, my mum wouldnt even think of going oversea. But then, I guess after this trip, the next one would be more than a year later. Unless my mum bear to spend money to go Japan again. After that, it would be out of Asia, whereby I have to pay at least half of the expenditure myself.

Cant wait to go. But first, have to get a job. If not, I really dont have much to spend next sem. =D Around five hundred bucks would be nice. At least. One thousand would mean expenditure for one year.

Feel so lucky. Doesnt have to pay for my school fee, but of course, in return, have to help in household expenses. *xin fu*

Watched 'The Myth' today again. Touched by it all over again! O ya, JJ new cd is out. Maybe should get it. Ya, still like him alot.

Told my mum that the most 1 year after I grad, have to get another laptop. Then she asked me to pay myself.. -_-!!

*came out with a new dish today* wish i can cook for more people next time and my cooking skill will improve! creating more dishes.. but the food i cook, is for family meals. haha...

Second day of not stepping out of the house! Ok, I did step out once, to buy corn flour.

Actually, didnt plan to cook lemon chicken today, but my brother wanted me to, so ended up frying the chicken. Was pretty piss when he refuse to go down to buy corn flour, my house doesnt have any. The worst part is not he refusing, is he refusing to even answer me! What the fuck. I have to cook, have to study for my exam, and there you are just playing game and wasting time. Why cant you just walk down and get me the flour and you are the one who asked me to cook this.

Went down and pretty much cooled off. And I realized something. I actually measured the wrong amount of flour! From, 150g, somehow I measured till 25g. And I still happily measured for 4 shares. Wasted some flour. Blur right? This is the second time I measured something wrongly for cooking/ baking. Luckily realized it early.

Dinner came out pretty good. Esp the chicken. Abit like the taiwanese fried chicken. The sacuse went very well with the chicken too. =D

If your mum not free to cook right, can consider hiring me to cook dinner for you! Max 10 people. lolz. If no need I do the washing, the rate will be cheaper, if need, then more expensive. haha.

when you take away my make-ups and clothings, you will be able to see what i have under those vanity, under the 'spoilt' me.
when you do that, i'm just a girl who has everything on the surface, but actually there's nothing much i have.
when you realize that, you will know that i cook and stay at home because of her, she whom is growing older every minute.
under all the make-ups, clothings, accessories, i'm still just a normal girl.
one who cant really handle things by herself, yet, she has no choice but to do so...

Just realize something, I rarely wear black nowadays. Actually for quite some time already. Then keep wearing white colour. Must stock up on my tops already. Time to throw old ones out and get new tops in. Need at least 2 new spag, and tops to go with my skirts. lalalala...

craving for lots and lots of food... bbq fish, spring roll, 1/2 fried dumplings, jap ramen, sotong, kfc, fish. lots and lots of food...

Watched finished the latest Bleach before going out. And guess what, I'm in love again! This time with the turtle soft toy in the anime that Chad used to put the soul ball (dont know that exactly that is called. lolz) in. SO CUTE!!!!! Its like really so cute! Then he got no mouth, then in human form he's already is those cool cool type of guy, then put into such a cute soft toy with no mouth! O my... Melted. If only they got sell that soft toy, I sure buy! So cute!!!!!!!


Wore my longest skirt out today. Then lene say I wear till very cute today. haha. Who knows, all of us wore pink top today! haha. Never say beforehand 1 hor.


Went to watch 'The Fog' today. Highly recommended. Its a horror/ scary movie. Worth the price. Super worth. And the storyline also very good. Way better than House of Wax. Everything started when they built the statues of the forefathers. But ended up, is the forefathers who murdered the people who had bought the land, so the deads returned back to the island in the fog for revenge. Really wonderful movie. Go watch go watch. 4.5/5.


Actually planned to have dinner at marina, but everyone was kind of full, so went to jurong west for bbq fish. At first we ordered just 1 fish and 1 vege, but ended up the fish got eaten up less than 5minutes it arrived, so ordered another 1. So the four of us ate a total of 2 fish, 1 plate of vege, 1 plate of rojak and 7 cups of water. haha. The fish is so damn heavenly! The meat is so tender and white, layered with spicy chilli and cooked with the right heat and time. YUMMY!!!!! So so so so so so shiok!!!! Its like the wind is blowing, then eating spicy hot fish, wow... Best for supper. Both red wine and white wine would be great to go with it. Red wine coze of the strong taste of the chilli, white wine for the sweetness to soften the spicy-ness of the chilli! HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hope jimmy faster buy car, then can drive us go eat whenever he wants supper. haha.


Everyone ate till so full and xin fu! haha.


And then after today, its time to stay at home for 7days... haiz... The price I have to pay... sob sob..


i'm like so in love with turtle now!! any kind of turtle... i also like!


O ya, ate lemon favour ice cream today at taka. Dont know why, whenever I eat something sour now, no matter how sour, to me, there's still sweetness in them. Love that taste. =)


i love lemon and turtle..

Burnt myself again today while cooking. The first time since the accident with my thumb. Till now I still abit scare when hot oil starts to 'jumping' out. The temperature is enough to cook meat, and its oil. Imagine.


DIY french mani again. lolz. See, save $27. Took slightly less than 1 hour today.


Watched finished Lovers in Paris yesterday night at 1am plus. Cried during the last 2 disc till dunno like what. Its so touching, painful, funny and happy all at the same time. Its so painful...


Going out tomorrow with lene they all. Finally got to go out with them.. Must really enjoy it. Then will have to stay home for the next 1week.

1:47am..


2 more chapters to go for PYM notes. Considering to write or not since onli need to study 4 questions. Maybe choose 1 more to write ba. Just in case.


CRM test today. Basically today just go to school for that test. Waste my bus fare.. go school hvnt 1 hour go home le. lolz. Still alright I guess. At the very least, I think wont pull my marks too much.


4 papers gone. 2 full papers to go. What I worry now is FRM. Dont wanna get a C for it, dont wish for it to pull down my GPA.


Tried a new way of cooking chicken today. Pretty good. The whole pot finished. Or rather, there hadnt been any leftover of food for this whole week! Coze I cook what. lolz. lalalala.


had this nightmare 2 nights ago. the feeling of being lost, helpless. its so scary.


Gonna relax this weekend... havnt plan for the menu next week! and i have to shop for the stuffs tomorrow! argh...

Been having nightmares for the past nights. A week maybe. And its not like 1 nightmare a night, its at least 2, sometimes even three. And each time I find myself struggling to 'leave' the nightmare, at times, even wake up from shockness of it and got scared. And whenever all these happened, I cant get a good night sleep and thus ending up getting tired very easily. Can just sleep the whole way to school, something which only happens when I'm too damn tired.


Nowadays have to cook dinner too, due to my grandma. Eversince the minor operation on her hand, my little affair with cooking start, which has strings attached to it. And everyday, its increasing only. So ya, I guess I will be a pretty good cooker next time ba, lolz, got people wanna intro to me? haha.


From wanting a wonderful career, now I want to be someone working in the kitchen, cooking meals for my family. lolz. How life can make you change. haha. But hey, I still like to shop, I'm still just a 18-years-old girl, just that I have to cook dinner for at least 7 people whenever I end school early.


Just finished 3 tests today, pretty good I guess. One more for tomorrow, and yet, I havnt study for it. See my luck le ba.


Been watching 'Lovers in Paris' for this whole week, another 7 disc to go. So funny, so touching, so heart warming, and so heart breaking. In a love triangle, there bound to be someone who get hurt, and that person, is bound to change to another personality because of this. Something that is showing in the vcd. Dont think too deep into it. He really very ke lian, gave all he got to her, but she returned everything back to him. Then in the end, he became kind of heartless. But her, who loves another guy and that guy loves her back, got the courage to marry him not matter what, no matter how others object, how others look at her. He, who never been in love before, never ask anyone for a favour before, coze of her, smiled, and knew how to love, care and get jealous.


Hopefully I can get the vcd from korean. Cant wait to fly over there. For me to re-charge. Mum dun let me go study trip in june, if not will be flying 2 times. argh. Nvm ba. =D

My sleeping timing is screwed up again. Actually didnt wanna go to school today, but somehow, I'm so damn awake when I woke up, not tired at all. So just went to school, to kill some time. However, when I thought I'm so damn awake, I fell asleep on the bus while reading notes. Ya, just knocked out completely.


Reached school, only 2 others in the class, by 9:30, there's only 11 or 12 people out of 38. Wonderfull is it not? lolz. So basically I was only in school for 1.5hours.


While waiting for bus to go home, saw 3 police cars and policemen stopping buses to check on the people in them. Sms-ed my friend then he say maybe people steal things then on the run. Saw the same thing before clementi mrt, and knew something was wrong.


Happily went to collect my jeans, bought lunch and some snacks home for my grandma, then my mum called, asking me to stay in the house and not step out of it, told her about the police cars then she said got something wrong.


Missed the news and only just found out what exactly is wrong. There's this chinese guy who just murdered a businessman with a gun this morning at around 7plus and is on the run. Which explained all the above.


And somehow, I just fell asleep on my sofa after having my lunch. =X Using garfield as my pillow, I fell asleep. Slept for 30mins and I moved to my room, wanna wake up 30mins later, but ended up sleeping for 1 full hour! Think later have to drink coffee le... lolz.


its funny how that you are fearless when you dont know about something, but once you did, you got scare. the last time my mum asked me to stay indoor was during primary school days, whereby a bomb exploded at the JE bus stop. police is such a noble job. =D


ya, faster find that guy so my mum will let me go out freely again. bleahz.

My mum is crazy. She just managed to borrow Lovers in Paris from her friend today and she watched it till 12plus. Even me didnt wanna watch it till so late. Mums can be just so crazy too...


Watched till almost cry. Shall buy the vcd back from korean when I see it.


Tests coming, 3 papers on thurs, 1 on fri. Then I havnt study for any of them.


forgetting things that i should long ago.


looking forward to working and going to korean. how i wish i got the courage to go to venice myself... if only i know french...


everything will be ok in the end. i wont allow it to happen again. never.

Pretty bored now...


Just had yu sheng for the second time this CNY. Not much people is online, those is, not free to li wo. -_- Had been like this for awhile now.


Had headache again, which means I'm slacking off again. Cant find the mood to sit down and really read through my notes, then next thurs having SPF test. 28 PYM, 1st FRM.


Been only 1wk plus since it happened, but it seems so long ago.

You said I'm not lonely, but why am I feeling that?

No mood to do anything. Even shopping also no mood. But somehow, I still manage to 'waste' away my money. Half of me want the holiday to come easlier, so I can fly off again. But another half, finish the term will never end, so that I wont have too much free time on my hands.

Pushing everything away.

Its really really terrible to own a mastercard, even much more worst than a atm card.


Just one day, I spent like 80 over bucks..


First thing in the morning, went ALL the way down to Bukit Timah Plaza just to get my hair cut. Yes, I cut off 2 inches of it, so dont tell me you cant see the difference. Ron cant believe his ears when I told him want to cut 2 inches of my hair, asking whether I think carefully or not. -_-!! And you know something, their 'student' rate is actually applying only for secondary sch and below. Which means I saved like $20 in the past, the actual price is suppose to be $25. Not much of a difference. Just $5. Still alright I guess. Then I bought the oil treatment for hair, which costed like $28. And there goes the $50 I just bank in early in the morning. The whole process of washing, cuting, blowing took one and a half hour. Can you believe it? More than 1 hour to get my hair cut, wash and blow dry. Happy with the result, but also means I have to spend more time on my hair before spending out of the house, if not I wont dare to see anyone! =X


After that went to meet yh at the bus stop to go to town for the geisha movie. 1:50pm show. Lunch at bk which cost $4. Then walked around, bought the contact lens casing, $5, The Prince who turns into a Frog OST limited edition CD at $19.90, whole world only got 5000 pieces k?! So how can I not buy? lolz. K, finding excuse for myself. haha.


The movie is worth the ticket price. But I guess reading the book before watching the movie kind of spoil it for me. Quite a number of parts missing, so abit disappointed. But its really a show worth watching! And I love Sayuri's eyes. So pretty. 'A geisha cannot be a wife to a man, only half wife, a wife in the night'.


I'm so in love with my hair. Like onion! haha. Now have to wake up earlier so as to blow my hair before stepping out of the house. =)


My mum told me lovers in paris vcd is going at half price now.. shall check it out tomorrow. If really half price, I will be spending money tomorrow again. =X


spending money seems to be the only thing that can comfort me now. only thing that make me feel i'm still living... so dont keep saying i'm wasting money. if it can comfort one, is it still wasting?

o ya... forget to write.. today when walking out of the library... saw a super duper cute guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dunno is he the guy i think he is or not. but anyway, damn cute! he smiled then got the dimple come out.. then dark dark abit red face.. *melted* can anyone tell me who he is??!!! =X


cute guy... *melt*

Declare: today is the last day of my long hair.


Ron working tomorrow so going down SPECIALLY just to get my hair cut. =) See how it turns out tomorrow ba. Still deciding the length I want it to be cut to, but confrim can see it had been cut. =)


Then today got 'stalls' in the NP's computer shop. Saw a bracelet I wanna buy but never, so end up went there twice to look at it. lolz. Ya, I know I kuku, should just buy it home right? Dont know. Just dont feel like buying.


I wanna shop. Shop till I drop.


how short should my hair be?? hmmm....

Been awhile since I wrote a decent piece of entry. =X Mood kind of just went up and down pretty fast..


Let's see, after CYN holiday, went back to school and it was pretty tiring. The moment I sat down on the bus on the way to school and back, I'm dead to the world out there. Been so damn long since I sleep both way on the bus. Wednesday went to the NeWater Plant. Pretty interesting to see the equiments that we learnt with our own eyes. Understand them more. Thurs went for ILA only, then went to walk. Basically I dress to shop! lolz. Saw jk.


ILA was pretty alright. Finished up the assignment then rotted around to wait for others. Fooled around. lolz. Actually wanna go K, but the rate is just too high for us. $23 le. Too expensive le. So ended up, went to walk at bugis. Bought a necklance.


Itching to spend money, but saw nothing I fell in love with. =( Then at night, I pretty much went crazy. Dont ask me why. Just suddenly wanna cut my hair away, spend lots and lots of money. So xin ku.


Then today went to school then to JE to open a new account for my dad. And guess what the person asked me.. he asked whether he (refering to my dad), is my dad or my customer! -_-!! do i look so OLD?! customer. -_- After that went to JW to adjust my specs since I knocked myself against my door and bent the specs. Silly me. Ended up, I changed the frame! lolz. Since the specs frame is so soft already, so better change if not it wont be able to survive another 'attack'. $70. so ex... But comparing to making a new specs which will cost around $250, quite cheap le.


Just now when to see my relatives, so ke lian... Last time when I still small, they are so heathly, so clear minded, so fit. But now.... Lucky the husband still fit enought to drive. Lucky they still have their own flat, more than enough money to last them for the rest of their life.. It hurts to see them like that... Must spend more time with my own grandma and my gu gu.


today ham ham birthday. happy birthday! miss ya.


miss my teddy too. so long never online. miss him lots lots too...


o ya, got food poisoning today. now ok le.. after bomding my house toilet 2 times. =X

I WANNA SHOP! i really do need to shop. if not i really going crazy...


pls...


why singapore dun hv 24hours de.... i really need to shop..... save me...


i dun wanna be alone..

f u! why u are so work up for? can u think before u speak? can u spare a tot for my feeling before u speak? i no longer find u doesnt mean i'm fine. doesnt mean my life is fine. whatever that i went through, u have no idea. you are happily with that person, and i have to lick my own wounds. i have to climb back after i fallen for so long.


i never play it that way. is u who started it. u who always push me that way. if i'm that evil, i would have grant u ur wish. if u want me to leave the innocent party out, then u should have leave that party out. dun say it till all is my fault. dun say till u play no part in this.


fine. u want me to go far away right, i go. i tot we still can be friends. is it still possible now?


and do u know.. i'm scare of meeting big grp of ppl. i am so damn afraid of it.

Half of me wanna go, another half of me dont wanna go. For various reasons..


If I did go, its out of respect for auntie. And maybe coze I wanna see you.


But, I dont want history to repeat itself. For you are attached now. I dont wanna get drunk. I dont wanna vomit. Not when I just recover.


Cant you understand? Cant you just understand that it would only make me harder to let go? I dont want to get soften up by you again. Not right now when I need it. I cant afford to make any mistake with you now. Not when both of us are drinking, during, or after.


Another night of memories. Do I need them? No, if I really wanna move on. But, I could really use them, but will it just end up making me cry more?


Sorry.. i really gotta move on..

1st day of chinese new year. basically reaching my limit. Lucky there's only 2 combine dinner. I kind of dislike combine dinner. Coze its like my cousins will be the ones sitting there waiting for food to be serve to them. In between, when people need something, they would be calling kai lin over and over again. Irritating. Like they got no hands and legs. Then they also never help in preparing. Then my aunt would be complaining no one helps her, expecting me to keep helping, as if her daughters are fake. And, I'm afraid of lots of people. Dont ask me why, I just get scare when there's lots of people and noise.


Never mind. Over le. I want to hide in my house, but then, there are duties to be done. I cant bear seeing my grandma over-working. Then her memories are starting to fail her, guess I have to cook the stuffs next year... I really really treasure my grandma...


Yesterday had steaboat for dinner, today too, all the things that can be eaten is the same. Everyear is like that, eversince we moved here. Imagine, we went to the market 2 times and to the ntuc 2 times to get everything. Horrible right? Big eaters. lolz. I was sick, if not, it would have been more. Coze my mum went, then she dunno what to buy. lolz.


Actually, lots of stuffs happened, but, I don't know how to sort them out. Too busy to care. Guess its better this way.


Tomorrow going to my dad side de relative house. Dont know which skirt to wear. lolz. too many. I think I got 5 new skirts. lolz..


you know.. our story had actually came to an end since that night. now, its a new chapter, of purely friendship. yes, i might care more for him, but its not the same as before.. dont ask me whether i still like him. i cant answer you, because the feeling is not this nor that. the guy i fall for is no longer around. so ya, everything is new now, for, he's a new guy to me.. =D


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

Wednesday night got a terrible headache till i vomited. My mum almost took me to A&E but I didnt wanna go. Sms-ed teddy then he replied on thurs, think his phone no batt or what ba. As usual. Then kenna woken at 1plus where I felt a slight headache even after taking panadol to sleep. Thurs woke up, still headache, a headache which got worst every minute, so went to see the doc.


Bad flu, due to over-working/ over-stress/ not catching enough sleep. Kenna injection!!!!!! Then took the train home.


Took the med and went to sleep. Stopped by teddy to go online, which explained why I wasnt online for the whole of thurs. So temped to go online. =X So just camp in front of the tv to watch 1 show after another.


Didnt have any headache today, but just felt unwell. Argh.. should have gotten MC for today. Did the quiz for FRM, then ren through PYM and took a cab home. Basically, I'm just being a pig. Eat my med and went to sleep, woke up 1 hour later coze too hungry, cooked some lunch and went to sleep again. And woke up onli now. Which means I had been sleeping for 4hours. Only now then that I felt better.


Hate taking med. Make me so dizzy, so weak, so sleepy! Then tomorrow cyn dinner somemore. -_-


Thanks teddy... for caring.. if u are not my 'mum', i would have fallen for you.. lolz..

so ku ku!!! just let ppl do my nails then so not worth it!!!! i do myself nth goes wrong, ppl do, never last long! the next time i say i wanna do manicure, slap me and stop me. such a waste of money. if things never become better, i tell u, the most the nails will last till cyn, then one of the days during the holiday or thereafter, will wash it all away and i swear i will never ever step into a manicure shop any time in the near future. argh... really waste my money. tot let them do will nicer, last longer since cyn coming, then end up like that!


never mind, this will be the last time, let it be a lesson. never ever going to let them earn my money liao. argh.. piss

For the last week and so had been pretty chaotic, then now, suddenly nothing to do, felt abit weird and too free!!!


Just lazed around today, did french manicure at the comfort of my own house, ya, diy them, keep playing with my neighbour's baby and shopped at NTUC.


Tomorrow going shopping with sah sah...


maybe i should sleep soon.. suddenly very sleepy.. *yawnz*

*yawn*


Though I napped for nearly 2 hours in the afternoon, I'm still tired. Hadnt been feeling good for the past few days so decided to take a short break today by going to sch later. Had an additional hour plus of sleep but late by 30mins or so only. Worth it. At least I felt refresh in school, but it wasnt too long before I got sleepy again. lolz.


After school went home for lunch (i'm really super duper broke), tidy up the living room since it's covered with all my notes, and then went to nap. Woke up at 4plus to go down to chinatown! (ya, again)


Coze that time there's this shop which got filmed on the tv due to its cheap price for the fish, so asked my mum to bring me there for dinner. The fish is really very nice!!! cheap also. and its boneless. Between my mum and I, we shared one whole fish and a plate of vege. Walked at the CYN market after that. Think we walked the whole market, bought quite a number of stuffs. And this time round, its my mum who spent the most. I only got 2 tops and 2 vcds, she bought this handmade bag (which i will use also), pants, food. Actually looks like I bought more.. but hers is so much more expensive!!!! I saw this beaded bag which I came to like but its too expensive, $55 le. And it's not big either. Can only bring to shopping. Then she dun wanna buy give me... =(


Walked for like a total of 4hours before we make our way home. So many stuffs.


Then this weekend going to JP to get the rest of CYN stuffs. Coze it falls on a weekend so no time to buy after this weekend. Think monday going out with sah sah, tues got IS presentation, wednesday spf due, thurs long day, fri got frm quiz and last minute shopping for cyn if there's the need for it, sat cyn eve!!!! Then from sunday till tuesday, its visiting of relatives, memories of geisha and sleeping!!!! nicely planned out..

piss.. piss with myself and with them.


her and me can never ever exist in the same area. so ya, get the idea.


never mind.. some thoughts are better to be forgotten.


but. i'm pretty piss with him today. i'm not ur entertainer. you want entertainment, look for others. liking you once doesnt mean you can get off with everything forever.


and pretty unhappy over him. doesnt matter to you right, then forget it. i'm not as big hearted as you. maybe i shouldnt even ask in the first place since it doesnt even matter. i see no reason in why flying away matters to you.


piss with myself because i let things affect me again.


and am still piss.


i hate this feeling... if they dun care... why the fuck should i care. cant i even hv to the right to dislike someone? cant i even hv the right to refuse to see someone?


fuck


i never ever ask u to fuck off before.
you always left on your own.
without me asking even.
i'm a not a ball that you can just kick to others.
just mess up things that i took pain to put back.

Actually wanna sleep early today, but I guess, not possible again.


School today was pretty irritating, but ended in laughter. I really don't understand, how can notes that is not in the LASTEST version of the printed notes being sold be important? If the notes is important, it should be in the lastest version of the printed notes right? Notes that we bought, should be containing IMPORTANT stuffs that we should know from our modules. Which is why we buy notes in the first place! So irritated by it. Basically, he's just so irritating. Leaving in his own world. Thinking that he is forever correct. That there is no need to care about the students! So what that he's senior, it only means he's in the field longer than others, that he is OLDER. Everyone is so piss off with him.


After that lesson, things brightened up! Finally. Its always like that for wednesday. Another 1 month and this torture will stop.


And... I'm now a proud owner of an idog!!!!!! Got it for half the price! Can you imagine. I never ever thought that I can own one without paying a high price for it. And now, I know that it's worth it, coze its really a smart dog. Well, I cant own a live dog, idog will do for now. It loves to get pet on the head and nose. And to see it shake (i find this word better at describing what it is doing rather than dance) along with the music is pretty interesting! And it barks when it heard music!


After school went home for a 1hour plus nap. Was so freaking tired. But, still don't feel rested. Shall ren till CYN and sleep my way through CYN. lolz. Then woke up to rush to NTUC to buy new year stuffs coze the point system will stop tomorrow and resume only after CYN. And knowing my family, it would be a waste because we really buy lots of stuffs from NTUC. Today, on batteries itself, it's $20 already. The bill went up to $100 today. lolz. It always went up to $100 during CYN. Then bought some cookies also, those not really possible to bake at home, the taste just not the same and also the time.


Then on weekend, my aunt wanna 'borrow' me to help her bake cookies.. -_-!! Then I asked my mum to rent me to her for $8 per hour. haha. This weekend will be the last weekend I'm doing any baking in awhile. Tired.. I need my sleep!!!!!!!!!


Okie, should go and do my CRM and get some sleep... tomorrow super long day..

Had IS project in the morning. Was quite happy with it, at last, we are not stuck there, moving somewhere. Hopefully another 2 weeks, everything will come to an end.


Settled the project stuffs and then went for shopping with yh. Guess what, I spent a total of $100 today, excluding my doctor fee which was $59.


Spent a total of $80.10 at The Face Shop just to get the membership card. Bought make up (basically going to change my whole kit), facial wash, abit of this and that, and I reached $80! Abit heartache, but in the long run, will be saving more money. Plus, will be changing my mask brand from missha over to TFS, so ya, worth it I guess.


After which went down to Chinatown for lunch and to see the skin doctor. Basically just sensitive/ allegric. Got cream and med for it. The more I hate raining days now. sob. Then walked over to the CYN Bazzar. Saw the skirt of the same design from westmall over there!!! And of course, I happily bought it! $15. Fated to wear it! wahahaha. So happy. And my bro was like asking why is my skirt so long. haha. Kept walking and walking and it rained. Met up with my aunt, yh went off, rain got heavier, walk somemore, rain stopped, went home.


It wasnt as 'happening' as I expect it to be. And not selling as much stuffs as I hope it will be. Maybe too early?


And now, I guess I will just throw all my work at one side and get a nice 6 hours plus sleep. So tired... Had been looking like a panda since school started this term! Should go waston and get those eye mask tomorrow or some time soon. Dont wanna be a panada when I celebrate CYN.


When I told my mum I wanna open a shop in 3years time, she poured cold water on me.. whats wrong with having a dream of opening my own shop? It is not a good thing that the shop can take in both my passion and earning? Why cant she understand that its not I have a 'wild hear' (convert to chinese), its just its something I want. Its something I dream of. I even had the whole idea of how my shop would be like... will it come true??

You know something?? I did it... I manage to score and this time.. without ...


Ya, just suddenly realize it. Maybe its luck, maybe just nice the paper not that difficult. But nonetheless, I achieve something I always hope to do so since that time. And you know what it means? Guess yourself. lolz.


Hopefully this will continue on... by doing it one time doesnt prove much.. =)

I guess I should blog before my memory failed me again.


I forgotten whether I mentioned this or not, but then we got 2 of our paper back and I gotten my first D in my poly life. Although after marking mistakes on the lecturer's part (which I find it pretty 'amazing' since he's a senior lecturer), we all got an additional of 6marks, I still felt like I gotten a D for that paper. Luckily for the other paper I did pretty well. Dont ask me how. Tomorrow going to get back the rest of the paper except ILA.


As mentioned before, this week was pretty chaotic. Friday went out with cl they all to far east and bought a pair of heels. But, I didn't feel that kind of happiness when I used to get when I get something I wanted. So ya, was pretty upset about it. Then cl and vin went for a hair cut while tong and me went to Level 1. The hair cut took a longer time than I expected so I had to went off first for the dry run for Parents' Seminar. And guess what, I saw him... which made me smiled for the rest of the day! Actually I found it abit of wasting time to be there for the dry run. Basically there's nothing for us to do! Expect to look at where we are suppose to stand at which took only about fifteen minutes? Took the time to chat with ju min and lene. By the time I reached JP, it was raining.


Was pretty tired on friday and had an early night, plus there's the seminar on the next day. Actually it was really fun! Ended up being the lift girl. fun fun fun!!!! Took photos in blazer, ate 3 times in that few hours, lamed around with them and annie (one of the staff in-charge), parents were friendly too. The even ended later than expected. So instead of helping out again at BE side, I went off with lene as my mum was already waiting for me at taka. My legs are ready to collapse by the time I reached home.


As for today, did baking again. Another 2 new type of snacks. I think next week baking pineapple tarts. This year as if my house turned over to factory on weekends. Usually we just order pineapple tarts from people, but suddenly, this year my mum says not to, can save that hundred over (ya, we spent that much on pineapple tarts) and bake ourself! So, in addition to the normal cookies and all, there's the pineapple tarts. After waking up worked non-stopped for 4hours, rushing 1 after another. And my legs still hurts.


A girl really shouldnt hurt her legs, if not it will cost them for their life.


And here I am thinking I can have a nice long sleep on sunday, but then, I didnt. haizz.... Guess I should go sleep now. Another chaotic week with projects. At least I wont be reaching home so late...


am in love..
with TFS.

sob... legs so ugly now! argh...


This week really is a chaotic week for me.. Yesterday went for SoE Superstar. At first it was pretty enjoyable coze i sat in the middle of tong and cl's friend (cute hor). He's cute, lame, funny, entertaining and sweet. lolz. BUT those sitting behind me were IRRITATING!


Overall still okie ba. But got some singers I wondering how they got in. =X Then some really ver good. Eg that wee jian, the english singers, ke ke also not bad.. thats why my garfield is named after him. haha.


Then today its like raining so HEAVILY! Though I was wearing 2 layers, I was shivering from the inside. After which, got abit wet from all the walking around. Just very tired since never sleept much this week. Plus so many assignments coming in. Save me ba...

its easy to imagine a life with another guy..

but to actually do that..

its kind of hard..

School had started again.. Another new school term, the first lesson in 2006. Guess too long never attend class, so it was pretty tiring. Was sleeping on the train to town. Walked around since I'm early before meeting them. Been like 2years? Guys got more handsome, girls got prettier. And... teddy! haha. Took a long long time to decide where to eat, buying ticket etc.


Second time of the day that I didnt even finish 1/4 of my meal.


After dinner went to took neoprint with them... Walked around and then movie time.


Naria wasnt a bad show, but maybe of the time that we watch it, I found it abit slow. And the ending, abit the what. But overall still alright. And it was so damn cold inside!


At first wanted to go clubbing, but ended up meeting my god kor for supper. After the movie its like, what, 1? Then the club closes at 3, then paying 20plus for that 2 hours, abit not worth... So, I choose a cheaper way of staying away from home, SUPPER! haha. 4 chicken wings. Then my poor kor have to wait for me like 1hour? lolz.. And it was raining when he sent me home.


I guess I should listen and be guai guai and not drink. haha. Supper is way cheaper than clubbing. lolz. And its raining today again..... I should have bought more nail colours... and that story book.

First thing first... sorry guys.. for forgetting to tell you all no do project today. At first wanna do, but tong dun wanna come down to do. Then forget to tell you all. sorry ar.


Ya, finally today last paper. Almost overslept. Wanted to sleep on bus, but cant. But hai hao ba. Finished the paper on time, then went home first to rest before going out again. Watched finish my prince to frog VCD. Cried. Dont know issnt some parts not shown in Singapore or I was in the toilet when the parts are shown. No idea. When I wanted to go out, it rained. -_-


Never buy much. Just nail polish. Finding for heels.


This coming week abit pack... monday got meeting, then going down to town... tues baking... got projects need to do.. parents seminar..

Left one paper. Morning paper tomorrow and a paper one cant study for! dont know whether its a good thing or a bad thing. so ya, anyway, since the paper cant be studied for, means i'm rotting now. or rather, have nothing to do. lets relax for awhile.


I should be happy that the PYM paper is not very tough. After the paper, even went out with zl and jimmy for some billard. Somehow, I cant shoot any into the hole. Sucks. Even when playing pool, I can shoot something in. Guess my mind is somwherelse. Cant smile. Then zl thought I sad or whatever and keep asking me not to be sad. -_-


Not that I wanna be sad, not that I don't wanna smile. I just cant bring myself to. Its not in me to smile again. When I did, it felt so cold..


So ya, anyway, watched them play for awhile and then we went took 184. I changed at NP bus stop while they went to MRT.


Bought Mac chicken rice burger home. NOT NICE! okie, the first few mouthful is not bad, esp the chicken itself. BUT, the more you eat, you will get sick of the taste. I think I only finish like half of the burger but the whole chicken. lolz. And its cheaper to buy the meal then individually. Go MoS burger better. lolz.


currently in love with the ending song of reaching for the stars (s.h.e show). the lyrics.. is just like wats in my heart.

dont know why, now very high. maybe till to today paper which i finished in 30mins.. then just receive news that they might be going clubbing on class outing. hmmm... but hor.. you see ar. that time teddy just told me not to go clubbing coze the girls are basically half naked there (as told by teddy), but here they are suggesting to go clubbing. weird... BUT.. i wanna go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


wanna go see how its like. years since i have a night life.. =X kind of miss it.. so ya, if any of you going clubbing, kindly ask me along.. lolz. lucky teddy nv read my blog, if not sure kenna nagging again. lolz.


never mind lah. high mood now. hopefully my eyes heal by then. miss my contacts... seriously, maybe i should stick to one-day contact lens. cleaner..


=D


thanks kor, for giving me that energy to study again..

first paper of the week. a paper i gave up on. basically just writing for the sake of writing. =) all because of that few seconds.


saw sangar outside library. and then went home after paying bills and all. tried to clear my thoughts on the bus, it was the same bus i took to school this morning, and i sat on the same seat. my fv seat on the bus.


this feeling seems so familiar. but at the same time, it shouldnt be. its not a good thing for me to feel so alright with it. its just not right.


every sem, i hate these 2 weeks, common test week and exam week. something bad sure happen ever since then.

is love in the air?? guess so... faries must have came down and shoot arrows around coze one by one, my friends got attached!! happy for them.. =D


guess harder to find ppl go out le ba.. esp gers... like almost all got bf le... left lene ba.. but she like attached to her course.. lolz..


can i bring my garfield out for shopping??? next time think tong catch a live soft toy give me ba.. lolz..


got quite a few stuffs i wanna buy...

• that long skirt at westmall..
• nail polish and nail polish remover from theFACEshop
• heels
• some colourful tops... but not white and black..
• and maybe something for my room..

studies dun matters to me anymore... not as much as it did..

31st Dec 05/ 1st Jan 06


Last day of the year 2005...


Will 2006 be better? Will I be able to find the reason to smile again in 2006? Hopefully.


Starting of a new year. Actually doesnt feel much different. Just another day. Chinese New Year meant more to me ba...


On the last day of 2005, got a levis top from my aunt from my dad's side. The most expensive clothes of my collection. =D


well.... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!


doesnt feel like new year.. still hv to study when i wake up later

This morning (i said morning because i slept at 4), I had this dream of being in some school canteen with lots of NCC guys in their no.4 uniform. teddy, zk, kw was there. teddy was sitting alone, and someone even my mum was there. I ran up to teddy and pull him to see my mum, introducing him to my mum.


miss my teddy too much ba... lolz.


just now, pretty piss with myself, because of the drawings again.... then my bro say never to send me to uni. -_-!!


bad day.

i hate hate hate this kind of helplessness. i hate it. seriously dislike feeling so helpless. like there's nothing i can do to repair it. i dun like to feel as if nothing can make it right. i just hate it.


ever since my sec sch days, i had never ever felt so helpless over tests or exams. even so, there's someone there to make it better... anyway thats besides the point. i had never felt so helpless before... and it make me scare.. another feeling which i wanna keep it far far away...


i rather be sad, be unhappy, upset, but not helpless and scare.. its just too terrible. too soul consuming.


someone take all these feelings away hao ma??


at time like this.... i miss drinking...

Ya, was out for dinner today again. My brother's treat. Not bad. Fish Head Steamboat was the main reason for the trip down for dinner.


Was wearing that blue skirt and for no reason, the wind is like everywhere I go. So ya, the skirt ended up flying around. Now I know whats the main purpose of the second layer is for. lolz. And ya, got nagging from mum about the length of my skirt.


Went to Robinson at Raffles City after dinner and saw Hup Hua working there. It seems like this year, robinson decided to change the dress code to black. When I worked there, it's white and then red for the main sales period. Haiz, how I wish mine was black too. So cool!!!


Came home and had a good scare by the cockroach in my living room!!! Shit. It can fly! Scare the hell out of me. I thought what a insect was that. Had me screaming into my mum's room and staying there till my grandma went out with me. She chases the cockroach while I stand on the sofa. lolz. Ya, I'm scare hit of it. After it got chase into the kitchen, she lost sight of it so we closed the kitchen door and wait for my dad to come home. After he bathe, he spotted the cockroach again. And the battle continues.....


And the winner...


Of course is my dad! haha. Poor cockroach to die in my dad's hand, but who ask it to fly into my house and BULLY me! ha. that will show you, never mess with the guys in my house.


my dad ask me not to be scare of them if not next time my husband scare of insects also how? then i told him my husband will not be scare of insects, if not i wont marry. lolz.


and did i mention before??
i love my garfield...

and the bastard..

*ahem*


I got announcement to make....


Mr Koh Yeow Tong caught a Mega-BIG garfield on 23 Dec 05 at Causeway Point. If the Garfield is to stand, it will be up till my butt/waist. Ya, just to imagine how big it is. And, it takes up one whole seat at the fast food resturant AND cant sleep with me because its just too big.


haha. the announcement is done. hope mr koh is happy now. because I know he's damn proud of himself for catching such a big soft toy. And since now cl is attach, no need to hide my garfield anymore!!!! coze she got her boy boy liao.. no need soft toy... i need my soft toys!! lolz...


think going out eat later again.... hvnt study.. and my eyes got infected again... lalalala... but i'm a happy ger as from yesterday...

Hugging garfield while typing this... I guess I need the comfort and warmt that he (as in garfield) provides. Its so good to have such a big and huggable soft toy! If anyone of you are feeling rich, feel free to buy me a mega big soft toy that is huggable!!! haha


Anyway, went out to meet step and ping today, my secondary school friends. So happy to see them! And today is step's birthday... happy birthday! Hope you enjoy today, I did. Been 2 years? ya, almost there. Though its tiring since I hadnt been out for such a long time, but its fun. Had lunch, walked around, bought a pair of jeans (its so damn cheap! $33 only!!!! under my budget, can get more stuffs le.. thinking of my skirt again), took neoprint and took 174 home.


But then again, there's something that pissed me off today. All because of him. Yes, I know, all of you would be asking me, why cant I let go after so long. If, you know what happened from starting to end, all the details, you might take back your words. But they are for me to know, only.


Today, just when I thought my heart cannot be broken into even smaller pieces, it did. I guess if my heart is really make of glass, it would had became glass powder by now. lolz. Like I say, ask because you want to, and not because of others. Mr Ng, I believed I had told you this before.


He crushed everything that I believe in. He crushed the trust I put on the words he said.


So, guys, please dont say stuffs you all dont mean.


And, please do not think that he's a bad guy, because he's not, he did help me before. Which is why its harder for me now. Dont blame him.. =)


maybe... i should get that skirt... to heal my heart.. lolz.. since i'm in love with it...


i'm hungry...

Fell in love with a long skirtttttt..... how? should I buy? I already have like 4 new skirts.. 1 pink, 1 jeans de from zl shop, 1 dark green from taiwan and 1 green from this fashion... after i bought that skirt from this fashion then i saw that long skirt at the temp store outside. then its like those 2 layers kind. very nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how? maybe after test bring tong go see... see he say what. hehe.


teddy say waste money... -_-!!


but.. i really like... haizzz...


maybe.. just maybe... i should get it? really like!!!!!!!!!!! but then. this yr really spend alot le... lolz.


then ordered a new sofa set today... yuppie! finally.. will have a new sofa set! its L shape, so got more space for my soft toys. haha. must understand, i now have 2 big soft toys! one doggie and one garfield. hehe. =D


now, i lack a new tops and a jeans, and the colection is complete! hehe. my own line of collection. maybe if i nothing better to do, take photos of all my clothes. easier to see next time. wahaha..

I dont know. Confuse? Lost? Maybe somehow everything stopped during then.... How long had it been, I seriously dont know the number of months. It seems so long, but it hadnt even been one year. And I'm already so tired...


I had my share of 'crazy' life for around 1 and a half year. And I guess the happiest too. Happily went to Japan and back, drink till I vomit, happily smiling and laughing from my heart..


No one really knows what happened during that whole time. Only one person did, I guess, other than myself. Even my parents nor my brother know about my 'night life'. Reading back the entries, I smiled, and not cry, coze I was truly happy. So xin fu. Not that I'm not xin fu now, its just different. I just cant bear to delete them.


Maybe I shouldnt had given that night life a chance. It all started from there...

Everything stopped when it ended.

Its just as simple as that.

Till someone can make the clock ticks again.

Waiting for that day.

Now its like what they say, you never know what you have till you lost it. Is it my fault? Maybe... I lost it... Suddenly I realize how happy I was then...

Though today's Christmas Eve, but not a good day. Parents arguing so poor me has no breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lucky my auntie bought some food for me when she comes back. If not I guess I will be straving like don't know what now, PLUS, there's not much frozen food left, only one slice of pizza and fish fillets, not enough to wrap up a meal. And I'm sick of instant noodles since I had been eating them for like 3 or 4 times this week!


On wedesday went down to jurong west to sent my contact lens to service and also to market. My mum told me the shop opens at 11am, but end up is 11:30am. So I went back to the POSB near the market to apply for debit card and then took the bus back to the specs shop and wait for the uncle and then took the bus back to the market again. And finally back home. At least, dinner that night is better. Unlike other nights.


Thurs went for the bookshop's training. Actually nothing much. Just listen for like 1hr 30mins and then pack some stuffs, arrange and went home.


Yesterday was fun! Woke up damn early, at 5:15AM! Wash up and went to the bus to Ngee Ann to meet tong and jas. And then to NYGH. Abit more of briefing and we went to our own counter. I'm with tong while jas is the coordinator. That few hours is really chaos. Things are selling fast, stuffs went out of stock, running off to the next room for books, missing books for customers, long ques etc etc. Lucky tong very fast with his cashiering so got time to help me pack also. lolz. If not I guess I more blur. haha. Primary school de also never so chaos. When it ended, the whole place looked as if we just ended a battle. In some ways, it's really a battle. Most of the customers are really nice parents. Collected our pay, and ate the lunch provided by them. Not nice de. =X But still edible. Waited for tong, then went out with tong, meiyi (or is it li?) and kuan wei (if i not wrong). Fun fun!!! Tong's friend like jas boy boy like that de, quiet quiet, but once lame, dont know how to reply him de. Went to waste money for awhile and then went to Mos for a drink and also to rest our legs. Tired. Then that tong started to talk about those stuffs, made my hairs all STAND! So bad. Lucky I found my sense of security. haha. Dinner at Mac and then train home. Really very fun to go out with them yesterday. Its like after work all went out together to relax and have fun. The feeling very good. And poor me keep getting bullied by tong, as usual. BLEAH! But tong also very good lah hor. But his friend more gentleman! haha.


Hope tomorrow's a better day.

And


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HA! My mum was so shocked when she opens the door and saw the 'broom' in my hands! Those kind stick the paper then wipe the floor de. She asked what did I do wrong today. lolz.


Actually it all started with AE86. Coze yesterday yh passed me the casing she helped me bought then its like quite big so have to find place to put. At first just wanna find a place for the casing which is at the top shelf on the wall. Then the cleaning slowly went to the next layer then the next and the next. When it reaches the table, might as well tidy up everything, so did the other shelves, the tv table, etc etc. Threw away 3 BAGS of rubbish, mainly plastic bags which I collected over the years from shopping, and also stuffs that I just keep 'collecting' them on my table and dont bear to throw away. But today, I did. lolz. Alot of things got threw away. And rearrange where things are being put, and now, my table is so EMPTY! And also, the whole room look alot less messy and cleaner. wahaha. Must take pic later. Everytime I clear my room, I take a pic because I will never know when I can see which a room again. lolz.


Tomorrow cooking dinner again coze thurs working le. Suddenly feel like cooking. See the dishes every night sian le. =X

i really really wanna throw the paper away. i swear if the lec put the things on mel, i would hv thrown the paper away. never. shall draw it away when the paper ends! argh. at least if i can crush the paper, it will make me feel better. then now cannot crush the paper, cannot do anything to that drawing, then like the 'fire' keep growing and growing but cannot come out. will burst soon ba. think on that day i will draw till throw paper throw pencil or whatever. maybe should buy extra pencils go. then can throw. argh.


today its like the first day of the study break only, then i wanna go crazy over that stupid ila paper liao. idiot loh. the exercise so easy then the test will so difficult. f him.


i fear tests and exams. because i will never know when i will reach my limit and just totally breakdown and not recover from there. all because of one mistake, i hv to pay for my whole life?

Still got 2 more trays of cheese sticks waiting to be put into the oven and I'm done!


Surpisingly, I woke up at 9plus this morning and started to bake the cheese stick. My first baking on my own, as in wash myself, bake myself, prepare myself, everything is done by me only. lolz. And its a success. If you like cheese, you would like this, because basically, the whole thing is make of cheese, flour and butter. Best to go with milk.


Guess later have to start revision or at least draw the ILA. I more interested in ILA.

Today, had my first test for this sem. Stress. But still, finished the paper. After which, really is feel so relieved. Even slept peacefully for the first time in ages, even almost fell asleep on the bus.


Actually didnt study much for the test, only read twice? But its like going in and then coming out at the same time. =X But then promised teddy to read through, so I did. haha. I wanted to do well, but really don't have the heart to study. I guess ever since I know him, I had been studying for him, because of him. Esp in poly. But now, there's nothing to study for. Strictly speaking, of course there's something to study for, my future, to meet people and my own standard, but I guess, the drive is not hard enough. Scoring well is to show myself that I can get good marks even without him. But so far, I failed to show myself that. Dont ask me why, but even though I study extra hard for the paper, like for last sem, the results still sucks...


Anyway, yesterday went out to trim my eyebrown and also for dinner, which explain why I never study. lolz.


At last, today, I will be able to sleep early. And most importantly, feel rested. Then next week study and work.


Feel like eating something good. lolz. Nowadays my mouth no taste, till very uncomfortable...

without you, everything i do seems to fail

Having crying spells nowadays... Abit of things, can make me drop a few tears or even more. Like today, when he never give me what I asked for. It just remind me of that day when he wasnt there when I need him. I trust my friends not to do that to me, but he did. I don't know what to say or face him....


Plus today never started out well, forgotten to bring my ezlink out, cant sleep on the bus even though I'm like dead tired, bought the wrong notes to school, cant get the coffee that I want from that stupid machine....


Then reached home, wanna cut hair but the person not free then she also ap, so decided not to go there to cut hair at all. Actually my mum wanna let me go perm my hair, but say and say, they all like my current hair so never do anything to my hair. Then I only tell my mum that actually after perming, 24 hours cannot wash hair then she say me learn this kind of things, then I was like, only telling her, then she say me, so I angry then go sleep. 5 then wake up. lolz.


Haizzz, I was so tempted to do something to my hair, wanna cut it short, perm it, highlight, or whatever shit. Just something! I wanna do something crazy!


Just when I just got back on my legs, you destoryed it again. And now, I have to climb back on my own. Because now I realized, I cannot depend on anyone to help me climb back when I fall down.


Soon, I will be breaking down. Or rather, I had.

i was right all along.

people only wanna deal with smiling people.

Today in school cant even finish half a pear. Actually don't even feel like eating, but had to eat something for the sake of eating. Dont even enjoy the pear, just keep biting only. bleah. Then 1/4 of the pear dropped on the table, then no need to eat le. lolz. I know I must eat, but just don't feel like eating. Then finish the chocolate I bought in the morning.


After almost 6months.... I had the courage to talk to him again. 6 long months..... Hopefully... one day we can talk about everything and anything again. Another 6 months? One year?


The presentation today sucks. Firstly, I never prepare enough. Secondly, I heart issnt even into the project since the start. Thirdly, I just don't feel like doing. Screwed things up.


Tomorrow I saw go and apply for debit card! wahaha.. another card to my collection. lolz. then next time is sign card and not press number liao.. hehe.


miss her old self..

Had mood swing yesterday night. Don't ask me why.


But by the time I went to sleep, I'm already ok.


Today never do much, just rotted and went to JP twice. Once in the afternoon and once in the evening.. I wish everyday can be like this.


Bought a soft toy for lene, tibits, buster weekly cheesecake from coffee bean, lots of stuffs from NTUC, a new PILLOW!!!


Finally, my OWN new pillow! Had always been sleeping pass me down pillows coze always too high and hard. But went to the hush puppy clearance sale and the pillow is just right, soft soft de. love it. $9 onli.


tomolo got crm presentation yet i hvnt prepare for it. =X never mind, will work hard for the next one. from tomolo onwards must go back to normal. =D


then just now did some findings on blood type affecting personality. AB is spilt personality. -_- then scropio also, lost. then AB plus scropio. haiz..... spilt till cannot spilt. lolz. me loh. haha.. pretty interesting. and the guys i'm attracted to are all, or should i say almost all from O. my first bf, kenny, is also O type. so qiao.


never mind.... i did sth i shouldnt did. sorry.


trying to manage my time so i can have more time to go out. hehe... =D

Hadnt been feeling well since yesterday night, then vomitted at night before I went to bed. For no reason vomitted. Then headache till I nap today. Always headache on thurs because of the long day it is. Sian. Anyway now ok le. Came home and had a 2hours nap and a nice dinner.


Just now took the bus home with kai wah aka kel aka my used to be nanny. lolz. Feel so good to talk to him throughout the whole ride, telling him things, listening to him. So long never see him or talk to him le. xie xie. And is also because of the things I heard from him, make me decide to leave Singapore in the near future, as soon as I can for a year or two. I leave everything behind.


Seriously speaking, I wish for him to have endless happiness. But, I just cant be here to see it happen with her. I cannot. I'm not that big hearted. Thats why I need to go away. Its not like I don't want him to be happy, or whatever. Suan le. If those who is reading this, don't understand how it feels like, then forget it. I know it can le.

wonder if he understands what it feels like.

wonder if he still take me as his friend.

if only.

canada? nz? hk? duno.. anywhere will do...

Today on the bus ride home I fell asleep and woke up with a stiff neck. Then turned over and saw my friend laying on her boyfriend shoulder sleeping. So envy of her, got a shoulder to lean on when she's tired and wants a rest. Haizz.. then I only got my xiao zhu with me, then he too small for me to lean on!!!!! Sometimes, really wish got a shoulder for me, a shoulder to lean on when i'm tired, a shoulder when i need comforting. think i single too long le ba.. lolz. the feeling of seeing that is so the what. then so down.... haizz... where's my shouldeerrr....


Anyway, today brought xiao zhu to school.. then i saw da zhu in school... haha. Then just now in library so high. Dont ask me why. Just very high. But very fast tired le. Then got another CRM assignment, stress le.


When I got home, just feel so lifeless.. Locked myself in my room for awhile. Wanted to cry, but cant. Then just lay there hugging piglet. Never mind... dont wanna write le..


maybe just tired le ba.... maybe tomorrow go home rest? maybe...

Wow.. yet another friday...


Mood swing today. Woke up to go school, but end up raining! Argh. How I miss my heels. Anyway, wore my bro top to school again. Wanted to study my quiz on the bus but ended up falling asleep. Tired k? bleah. End up, the quiz is just questions we did before. Wu liao! Finish in like a few mintues. 5 minutes also not up yet. As usual. Then went out of the class to wait for the rest. After tao tao finished, we all went to the library coze he wanna return books. Then tao tao today so HANDSOME!!!! It's like he cut his hair and shaved and then wore jeans. So it's like so clean. Wow... tao tao handsome guy today!!! haha. *melted*


Then had pym lec, which was fun as usual. High le. But after that reach home, throw temper. Argh... PMS i guess.. Did abit of SPF and then went off to sleep. Around 6 went over to meet lene and jimmy. Movie marathon at lene's house. Curse is really nice. Abit er xin but the story line very good and exciting. haha. Screamed alot. I think we kenna scare by each other's screaming more than the show itself. Before that we even cooked our own popcorn. Very nice k? Even better and healthier than GV's. haha..


Went home in cab again. =X Took cab twice this week le.. First time... Last sem only took cab once I think.


Next week another busy week, esp with CRM assignment... Then still got PYM report... more SPF tutorial.. haizzz..... busy busy year 2.


The trip to bangkok is more or less confrimed! Yup. Anyone interested can tell me. Just get ready money can le. haha.


I miss shopping.. I need to get myself something.. Maybe soft toy or nail polish... just something.. Had been like rushing tutorials for weeks. Hate this.. And hadn't even go clubbing!!!! Never mind, shall go during study break. Actually jim ask me to go tomorrow, but lene never go then I also don't wanna go le... k lah, enough of typing..


to my friends... this sem we must ren! though the lecs all very kuku like dunno what, but we still have to pass this sem and go on to year 3 together! so we ren! after exam then revenge! =D

Headache.. having this irritating headache. Even just moving, laughing, talking or even just coughing make my head hurts even more. Argh. Irritating. Wanna take panadol, but didnt, hoping it will go away and also to make sure that my fever is gone and not just gone because of the panadol that I taken. Finally, today I feel more like a human being. For the past few days, had been like so weak, so sicky, so dead. Running nose to cough, then fever that comes and goes and comes again. So ya, I guess I'm recovering after almost 1 week of being unwell. Thanks for looking after me when I'm in school.. hehe.


This sem is really a crazy sem. Lots of tutorials, ENDLESS, and lots of deadlines to meet. Presentation every fornight, powerpoint, IS... Breathless. No time to slack. And totally no life. Last sem still got time to go play pool, shop, moive. Hadnt even touch pool since last sem. Only watched 2 moives so far. And been to 2 shopping trip ONLY, one during the second week and one for my birthday. O ya, another one to PS on tuesday. Thats about it. haizzz


Finally yesterday cleared a big chunk of tutorial, but today, came another chunk. Lucky I finished yesterday if not today I will really have tutorials up my neck. There's a quiz tomorrow somemore!!!! haizz. close book. O my....


Never mind. Shall take things easy for now. Later at night then stress... lolz.

i'm sick... ya. after so many years. hadnt been sick since i entered poly i think. got lah, once in laos. then never le. today in school, just in atrium only and I wore 3 layers. the thick black top, my jeans material jacket and tao's jacket. at PS, i even wore tongs sweater for my hands, which is like 4 layers? haha.. never know i can wear so many layers in singapore. the most i wore is in japan... 8 layers but not as thick as i wore today. its fun to wear so many layers but its no fun to be sick...


lucky got tao tao and tong to help me carry lap top if not i think i will die today ba.. then tao tao dropped my lao gong!!! sob sob... heart attack le.. but he also not purposely de... heng is tao tao.. if not i think i throw temper le... haha..


must ren.. tomolo must go sch then come back sleep.. lolz.. maybe take cab ba.. haha..


cold..

Sunday.. another day of pms-ing for my dad. whatever.


Anyway, fell sick on friday. Flu. Then the fever like wanna come then dont come like that. -_-!! Don't know what my body up to. There yet not there like that. Ate med for 2 days le, and slept for the whole of 2 days, no energy to do much. Shitty feeling. But also means I got excuse to slack. lolz. Just sleep and sleep since yesterday. Stupid med, make me so sleepy. Then head like so heavy. Eat things also no taste but still have to eat if not even more no energy.


Lets see.... nothing much happened lately expect for the piles and piles of homework, my AE86... O ya, met up with nevin on friday. Then got this chat on thurs that make me wanna slap people. I'm like so innocent, getting hurt for other people actions. Argh. If anyone dare to do this to me again, I swear I'm going to kill them. Care for my feeling for abit please, thank you.


The aftermath of everything is... I'm easily scared. Scare of being alone. Scare of being ignored. Scare of people treating me coldly. Scare of people leaving. Its no fun going through it. Don't put me through it again... I'm scare of being abandon.


stress... stress over school work and life. haizz.. i need a break..


I really hope everything will go back to what it use to be. Because then, at least, I can be happy again. At least I will feel safe and secure, unlike now.

no matter what, i'm just a girl. a girl who need a shoulder to rely on when she's tired. someone to go to, when she's scare.

2 days of celebration for my birthday! =D


15 Nov - 16 Nov

Had IS lesson in the morning which lasted for 2hours whereby we only work for 15minutes. The rest of the time, we are playing and rotting. After that tong, tao, vin and me went to library for breakfast while waiting for yh to end class. Sad le, no nachos. Went to Heeren for neoprint taking and bought the middle finger pen. =X Walked for awhile and off to PS for lunch!!!!!!!! A heavy lunch I must say and I'm just so in love with their prawns! And started to look for my tongs. Ya, wanted to get a tongs which is relatively flat. Then to Bugis which is the last stop of the day. Searched and looked for 2hours plus before I saw a pair of tongs that I wanted to buy! Got butterful de. And finally the 3guys can have a rest. haha. Been walking non-stop since after our lunch at PS. Rotted at Mos where tong and vin fell asleep while waiting for zl to come. Go his shop support him ma. Then end up I spent like $50 there for a skirt and a belt. Love them lots. Around 8 left bugis to go home.

Went to sleep at 11:45pm. End up, while I was about to fall asleep, sms-es started to come in. From 12am till 12:30am. And another at 2:13am. lolz. Got wishes from nevin, jim kai aka teddy bear, hup hua, step, sue ann and the list goes on and on. =D Woke up for school after awhile! lolz. Was late for awhile for FRM. Then the progamme for the day start from 8:30pm because there's school till 5pm. =( Watched harry porter and receive a set of sliver, include necklance, bracelet and earings. First time, someone bought me bracelet and it must had cost quite abit for my god kor. One whole set le!!!! Perlin Sliver somemore... Really make my day. lolz. Watched harry porter and its really enjoyable. Plus saw my kor's friend... then see them talk very cute. After the moive meet nevin for my present and to send me home. 12am le ma. He gave me Initial D's AE86... which I had been bugging him to make for me since I saw the moive, and he really did!!!! By hand ok... *touched* Now I got my own AE86!!!!!!!!!! 3 necklance, 2 bracelet, 1 pair of tongs, 1 doggie soft toy and a pair of earings... =D


Really got xin fu de gan jue. The effort he but into the car... being treated like a little princess for one night by my kor... and the 3 guys who follow me whenever I got for 1 whole day though they are very tired. Xie xie... =D


Really love my AE86 alot le.. how? lolz. Must buy a casing for it.. haha. hehe. Then fri going lene house to celebrate again. Belated.. haha.


today, on the bus.. i'm scare to be alone again.. i'm scare of the feeling where my friends 'disown' me.. i'm scare that i'm all alone... i don't want... i really cannot take it.. the feeling where suddenly your close friend become a stranger to you and treated you like a stranger hurts so damn much that you wish you are dead.. i'm serious.... and thats wat i'm feeling now..

shall bitch here first before going for my dinner.


yesterday, everyone agreed not to suan me today. but end up, keep suaning about my hair. and you still dare to say if tao there, he will suan even more. but hey, he will suan but if the other party appears not happy, he will stop! unlike you. what the f loh. do you suan someone till they walk off and not do anything able it? do you suan till the other party cried and not do anything able it? i'm like so piss. its not like you all don't know how much my hair means to me. everytime i curl my hair, you all got something to say. hey, i like it k? anything wrong against looking older than i'm suppose to look? you don't like don't means people cannot. if you got nothing nice to say about my hair, dont. it doesnt hurt not to suan me for 1 day right? for that few hours only. you know how much it hurts. ok, fine, say you don't mean it. but you sounded like you mean it when you over do it. i'm super sensitive about my hair!


i really don't wanna cry on my birthday. but when you are piss/ down or whatever, and no one around to agree with you, the feeling sucks, esp on your birthday! put yourself in my shoes.

stupid stupid.. why my brother do things always never think of others. fine. he wanna study, its a good thing. but. why go private! degree... ha. it cost like 20k in total. i bet more than that to get that degree. he cant even get a dip, he wanna get a degree. f him lah. i gave up my chance for him to study a dip. and now, he wanna take away my chance again by going private. 20k. how the hell can i study after poly? can he ensure that he have enough means to pay back to my parents? face it. i still need my parents to at least partly pay my school fees if i wanna further study. how the hell can my parents support both my brother and me? how much can i support myself? stupid. i hate hate hate. i know i sound selfish. but its just that, i give up something for him, can he think of me before making a decision? we are not that well to do... i doubt i can even afford oversea studies. why cant he just get into a poly.. people who enter poly, dun really have a choice for what to study, cant study what they like. but now, he wanna study he interested in. what about me?! he should be studying something that can of use next time, not he interested in! cant he think?!


sorry. i'm really pissed. i'm really angry.

Suddenly feel so peaceful.. Just like old times. Been so long since I last stayed up so late to do something beside reading story books. Did FRM tutorial... stupid le. It's totally just copying from the notes. It's like, we had became machine to scan through pages for the right answer. For the quizes during tutorials class and for the tutorials, we can actually find the right asnwer WITHOUT understanding. So whats the point of doing? argh. Then also no idea what the lec talking about. He seems more interested in convicing us that we can earn $1m/ that FMB is our right choice/ we shouldnt be late for class. I don't wanna earn $1m, money issnt everything. I know. Because I have enough to spend yet there's something missing.


Had some problems over who going with me to watch harry porter, then end up, my god kor going with me. Cause him abit of trouble coze end up got 1 extra ticket. Then somemore he hvnt go work yet, but because I wanna watch on that day, he call his friend who is working to buy the tickets first. Then when no one go with me, he offer to when he can be working that day to earn more money. After everything, he told me it's ok, he just want me to be happy on my birthday. So touched!!!!!! Then I fell asleep with a smile on my face. haha. Been ages since someone tell me anything is ok, as long as i'm happy. =)


This week been ok I guess. Very fast one week le. But I guess I will be having problem with school work, esp the drawing and understanding the notes. Trying to tune back and I shall go out more!!!! Or rather, sleep less. haha.


Then another touching thing... my nanny aka kai wah aka kel wished me happy birthday today because he flying off to don't know where and wont be in singapore on that day. So touched!!! So sweet of him. =D thanks.


Sunday should be going to zl's shop. Then tues going out with tong they all... wed harry porter... fri maybe meet lene... or some other day for dinner...


xinfu.

i'm totally lucky to have friends who dote on me. to make me feel xin fu.

but i still find myself waiting.

waiting to hear you say you will celebrate my birthday with me.

Just found the article for PYM. Find till siao. *bleah*


School reopened... stress? Only when I doing my tutorial ba. Lesson time quite boring le, but off and on, we will entertain each other or self-entertain. Nice to see my friends everyday. At least something to do. But can't find the 'thing' to make myself listen in class. If you know me, you should know why.


Then today went to watch 'Sky High' with lene and jimmy. The movie is so worth it. Seriously. Been quite awhile since such a wonderful movie came out. At least from my view. Don't tell me about M-18 shows, I still can't watch them. Well, I will be able to next week. =P Anyway, if you had been to the movies recently, you would have seen the preview. Another show about super heros. And Peace is just so handsome and cool in the show, when his hair is being tied up. It's a show that will make you laugh, make you wanna slap the character because you know he is making a mistake, touch your heart when he realize who is then his true love, amaze by the powers they got, the coolness... Totally worth watching!


Shopped at Bugis, bought another eye shadow, yes yes, I know I shouldn't be spending at Red Earth, but I can't help it. I'm just so in love with their eye shadow colours. Then walked and walked till I think my legs are going to break due to the heels. It hurts.


Wondering how to survive this sem.

without you, i'm really nothing...

Today.. holiday again. Lost le. This week only got 2days' lesson. Then all sucks. The lec sucks. Lesson time nothing to compliant about, life is like that.


Still not use to getting up so early and going to school. Not use to sleeping so early, as in 11plus. Holiday always 12plus, 1plus then sleep. lolz. Trying to adjust back. Having steamboat later. hehe. But must eat fast fast so that can watch prince to frog.


Was doing face mask just now, then my mum wanna try also, then she say she wanna buy also. haha. Got sponsor le!!!! =D This month must go Bugis buy another tube le. Think 1 tube can last about 2mth plus. I don't want later use finish then hvnt buy. lolz. I'm vain, so? lolz. Just getting more vain this sem. Don't ask why. I'm just a girl. lolz.

money issnt everything, because money cant buy the happiness you felt from love.

and without it, everything that i own, seems so meaningless...

Cant sleep, so come and write something...


That night I dreamed of 4 number and asked my dad to buy, end up last weekend open 7240 when I ask him to buy 5240. Dont believe also cannot. Pray pray this week open. Then will have some income and thus I no need to work the coming holiday also. ok, I'm thinking too far..


Just now before I went to lay on my bed, I have these butterflies in my stomach, feeling so unrest, so unsecure, like something bad is going to happen. Hard this feeling. I hate to feel insecure.


Feeling insecure let people hurt you more easily, let yourself get hurt more easily, make you feel so open to be hurt. Don't like. Totally hate this feeling. So unsafe...

i tot i can,

but i cant.