Came back from chalet yesterday but was too tired to update... The bbq wasnt that successful, but overall still alright. The chalet was a success! =)


At first was quite messy when buying the stuffs. Never plan nicely, then I guess too many people also. Then due to those small small things. So not really happy about it. But anyway, manage to reach the chalet all in one piece. So the usual, exploring, preparing for the bbq...


Thanks tao tao for all the hard work, starting the fire, cooking... never rest much. =X sorry ar.


The lecs came, but some of my friends never turn up, abit sad. But still alright. Lots of cats there, so ya, lots of screaming and jumping around by me. hehe. Therefore, I'm known as the 'intelligent cat detector' now. haha. Never expect the lecs too be so 'open'. lolz. By nine, all of them left, we also started to clear up to go into the 'house' to watch the chinese X-file.


And here came the mahjong and cards game. Yh, cl and jas don't know how to play then end up they abit bored. Guess coze too little of us staying over thats why will like that. Never slept at all. Not till wednesday morning. Tong won the most. Then yx, lene and jimmy left. All of us went up to catch up on our sleep. Vincent slept the most!!! I cant fall asleep, then jas woke up. Thought of trying making 'pizza' with the leftover we have. Quite a success. haha. Then I got tired and went to sleep again after yh and vin woke up. After 1:30pm, everyone started to woke up and then used the whole loaf of bread to make the pizza and ate them while watching a moive.


Went out for a walk after that. To changi village and bought chilli crabs back. Thanks tong for the piglet!!! hehe. Took turns bathing and the girls started to wrap up a dinner using the leftovers by using the mircowave oven. Joined the tables together and sat together to eat the dinner while watching the TV. Cant finish all the food.


Still got 1 thing. Everyone got their share of torture beside tao and yh. Kenna tickle without a chance to fight back. Kenna bully by everyone etc etc. DAMN FUN!!!! Seriously. Then I still kenna 'throw' to the mattress by tao and tong. lolz. Fun like don't know what. Miss them!!


Aaron came, bullied him. haha. Then played slient heartattack. Vin, yh, jas and tong kenna the forefeet. Tong's was the most happening, sang at the bbq area and then coze the other chalet people are also outside and they joined in the clapping. haha. Time for aaron to leave. We all walked him to his car at the SAF carpark. Then suddenly decided to all squeeze into his TINY car for a short drive to the bus stop in front of our chalet. I sat on tong's leg at front while the rest of them squeeze to the back. lolz. Somemore, when the car came to a stop, only the front door unlocked, so tong and me ran to the chalet and locked the rest of them out. haha.


After cooling down, we all sat down to play 'Eat or Truth'. All words spoke are for the people who are there only so can't say here. And I gave them all a good scare. =X At ard 2, clear up and went up to the room for story time. Took turns to talk but only tao never. I almost cry ar. All vin's fault. lolz.


Then we all sleep for awhile before vin, tao, jas and me woke up to prepare to go to school. Took a cab down and was really like zombie. Even standing up can sleep. Manage to survive. Reached home, damn tired. Ate dinner and sleep. Woke up was lost. Wondering where I was. Can't remember. Brain not working. Slept at 11pm again. Woke up today at 12pm.


Thanks guys for the wonderful time we had at the chalet. Though in school we might be distanced, but I believe no matter what, we will all be there for each other. And I learnt. lolz. Next chalet will be better than this. =D After the talk we had on the last night, I thought through alot, or rather, by talking out, my feelings are more clear now. Tao is right that zk is important to me, but as a friend. Because I know we cannot be together. And therefore, the more I believe that I'm over him. haha. I did survived till now right? lolz.

Going to chalet in a few hours time.. hehe. First chalet with my poly friends.


Anyway, yesterday went for the outreach thingy. Actually is abit sian till the max. But still ok i guess. But the food kind of sucks. We see the D'Fine van till we sian. lolz. Reach home, headache so slept early. That explain why I'm already awake at nine in the morning. BUT, I woke up with a running nose and a sore thoart. Drinking lemon water, hope will help.


Started packing my bag yesterday, but still now, havn't pack finish. It's like the older you get, the more things to pack. Last time go chalet for my sec sch, nothing much to bring, just clothes. Now, have to bring clothes, chargers (2 chargers!!!), cable etc etc. And suddenly feel so tired. *yawn*


Then I know 3 'bai ci' friends, or rather generous friends. Pay me the money for the bbq, but not confrim coming!!! argh. I want people to come not finding sponsor for my bbq le!!! But hor.. kind of sweet lah.. lolz.


Hope later will be successful!!! A bbq for all the people who make my poly life a difference. haha.

Since holiday started, had buried myself in books, books as in story books. Love Nora Robert. Hope didnt get the name wrongly. Ya, my most liked author recently. But hard to find her books around in JP. Everyday was just like reading and reading, cook for dinner, tv at night, online and then time to sleep. Slack day right? But it had started to get boring. haha.


Friday, which is yesterday, went back to school with cl!!! So happy. Then saw my kor aka jk. Tao tao still look the same.. whent to the briefing, pack some stuffs and went home. Abit wu liao lah. But then get to see my friends!! haha. Nothing can be more happy than that. Talked about chalet for awhile.


As usual, to library before I go home. During school term don't have much time to read. When there's time, rather sleep than read. So holiday must let my brain eat some nice 'food'.


Next wk will be term busy, or rather today onwards. Need to dye my hair, then tomorrow going for the briefing for the trip, monday for the outreach thingy, tuesday to thurs morning chalet, then thurs have to wake up damn early to go from chalet to school by 8:40am. What a crazy week its going to be. After that rest for awhile, need to prepare things to go oversea. lalalala..

i wanna be ur little princess... may i?

The doc onli say.. so far still normal. Coze if give med, need to eat for months so she is not keen to give me so soon and to wait to see how it is. If it stops by this week, I have to go back for a check up at the end of the year, if not I have to go back next week.


So after that went NTUC to get stuffs to cook dinner. Tried both my new recipe. Not bad. I still decorate the plate hor. lolz.


Rested, rotted. Guess tired of getting out, hidding, trying to survive etc etc.


Then yesterday my sec sch friend called me. Asking me questions about my life. Really feel like killing him. Asking why I don't have a cca, asking why my GPA so low, telling me how much cert he has now, wanting to compare etc etc.


WTF!!! Its my life. Lots of people in poly don't have a cca k? My GPA issnt THAT low.


Face it, I had changes. I not that sec3 and 4 christina that keep studying and studying only. I like to have fun every now and then! Or rather, I need to. If not I will break down.


Just so damn piss off with him. If you onli bother about your studies and not want any fun, might as well go JC. And he still tell me he can dun listen to lec and all and still Aces. F him le, some modules can only what. Really feel like scolding him upside down. argh..


Ya, I'm feeling bitchy now. *bleah*


Big deal!

Seems like so long since I last blogged. Been quite eventful.


Tim Sum Buffet at Dragon Gate, trip to polyclinic to get med for my taiwan trip, 'tution' my friend, manicure (yes.. i did it FINALLY!), friend met with accident, nuh, rotting, tidy my room, lots of mooncakes, reading...


So now I also no idea where to start. And something bad happened. Well, from what I searched from the web, it's considered a bad thing. What exactly will only know tomorrow after I see the doc. But from all the websites, it's not something good.


Haiz.. really hope everything will be fine... Better pray it's good news tomorrow and not bad news.


I'm trying not to worry, not to scare myself but abit impossible.

Yesterday wasnt feeling well so never update.


Last paper!!!!! Finished the paper in like 1hr 15/20 mins. Write till I have no idea what to write. Never mind. Over le!!! As long as the exam had ended, it's ok. After that went to the study area to wait for awhile, but nearly 10:30 still no one come out, so I went to cut hair. Of course is Ron cut de. lolz..


He had a hard time thinking of a new hair style for me and cutting because I have lots of hair. lolz. So in the end, he cut my front till really is facical hair style. Then behind de kind of remain the lenght just that he cut in the sense that the 'U' shape is more obvious. Look about 1hr to cut, wash and style. $20 bucks onli. hehe.


After that went to the hawker center. Only vin and tong eat. I wasnt hungry.. Then went to bus stop to wait for Cl then she say I looke like xiao gong zhu!!!! haha.. happy le... lolz..


Went to OG, changed the points for stuffs.. then walked till PS. Cant catch any bear bear so we turn and turn the thing. Used lots of money sia. But at least got something in return!! haha. Then my dear cl give me her piglet. xie xie ni! Then went to Bugis, walked around and had bubble tea. The bubble tea is the best! Plus you won't feel that its too sweet.


Took the train to JP and went to the library for awhile before going home. So heavy. Actually dinner was really a feast but wasnt in the mood to eat due to my headache. The worst headache ever!


Later going to habour front to eat. hehe. Somehow, I cant wait for my results. lolz. Think next wk relax abit at home. Then 26 go outreach thingy, then chalet, then outreach again. Then a few days later I flying le. hmmm... come back then find job ba.. =D

Tomorrow will be the last paper. No mood to study. Don't even wanna study. Dont know why. Just like that loh.


Hope can do not bad...


Good luck guys!!!!

I had the weirdest dream in don't know how many years. I still cannot get over the fact it's so real, so clear.


The place where the dream took place was a place that I had a dream about before, where one of the house is zk's. Why I remembered the place so well was because of the house in front of his. Because it's just a standalone. Last time when I dreamt of going to this place is to pass him his present. And besides passing him the present, I used glass thingy, that can be used to draw on the glass and then peel off again if you don't like, to draw on his neighbour's glass panel. It was a pic of a whole piggy.


When I dream of the place again, I was shocked. My brother and my mum was with me. Then my bro saw zk, and asked me to go talk to him, for what I have no idea. And of course, my mum is saying she will just slowly walk.


By the time I reached the house doorstep, zk and her had went in.


I walked over to his neighbour's house's glass panel, shocked to see the piggy still there. Peeled it off, thinking of giving it to zk. But when I reached his house door steps, he shouted something to me. Then I shouted back and cry also. Then I just leave the piggy on his door step and walk away. But, after awhile decided not to give him, so I walked back and take it back and when I walk away till a distance, the back of the house exploded. Then policemen and firemen came, was a scence. And she died. =X But in my dream, zk wasnt sad at all. =X


Funny hor? Cannot believe the place the dream took place was the same as the one I dreamt of years ago. It's like a part 2 to it. Continuation. Lost for words.


Ya, thats about it....

First paper is O-V-E-R!!!!!!!!!! I cant be more than happy. haha.. Well, actually I can.. lolz.


Anyway, the paper is kind of like a breeze? By an exam standard, it's by far the easiest I think. Hope can score!!! =D


Didnt sleep much yesterday night even though I drank warm milk before going to sleep. So when I woke up this morning, my mind is really totally blank. But luckily, I can do the paper. While waiting for the paper to start, I keep wanting to fall asleep. Tired. Then got this weird feeling. Like got something stuck in my thoart of what, but can't vomit out anything. Reached JP, burp-ed then ok le. lolz.


Bought long john back for lunch. Feeling good ma, so decided to give myself a treat to long john. lolz. But then. have to start with FEN later. sian. So tired. Maybe nap later? hmmm...


Cant wait for exam to be over!!! Then can cut my hair, go out, meet up friends, chalet cum bbq, taiwan. After flying back to singapore, I don't know what to do yet. Hmm.. guess gonna call up people see got jobs or not. lolz. =D


Cant imagine, yesterday I almost broke down, and here I am happily typing this entry. =) Guess it's really time to have a long rest. This sem, esp from the study break for test till now, really alot of stuffs happened. From really really down, slowly recover to how I am now.. =D So its time to rest after the exams!!!


then just now got 1 surveyor tot i uni year 1.. -_-!!

Hmm... Friday night slept late again.. guess nowadays sleep too late and thus resulting in my headache spell. Not only that, everytime I sleep, it's so unpeaceful, like something is gonna happen, plus I been having nightmares AND the feeling of un-safe-ness returned again. I hate these.. I hate feeling unsafeness. I need to feel secure. If not it wont be long before I breakdown... serious.


Friday went downt to People's Park to register for the Taiwan trip. =) 7 Oct flying off, 13 oct then coming back. Finally, a trip is confrimed!!! lalalala... Finally. After that went to Jurong East to renew my mum's hp line and to get some flour. Tiring day!!! I even nap twice. Once at 12 plus and again at 3plus bfore going out.


Then chatted with shou bing and ham ham!!!!! Then I super duper blur.. hehe..


Sat still ok, but then at night got bad headache till cannot sleep. But 12plus ok le then tried to sleep.


Sunday. Woke up, tv, eat, online, ibt for awhile.. Then dinner for steamboat!!!!!!! Nice nice. Is use plain hot water to cook till got taste le.. Li hai hor? Damn nice.. Then I eat very little rice only... hehe.. but lots of prawns, meat balls and fish balls. lalalala... Then now abit hungry.. =X


Watching my date with a vampire III.. Feeling so stress.. haiz...

It's 2:22am now!!! 2:22pm over at Canada. Obviously chatting with ham ham.. =P If not I also wont be so awake now. Partly till to BBQ also. Got latest news. haha.


So anyway, went to AMK for dinner just now. Had around 6 to 8 dishes, including shark's fin, fried prawns with oats, chicken, steamed fish, pork ribs. Really a feast. Plus we were really very lucky because the coffee shop was closed for 1 month for renovation and just opened today!!! See, so heng! Fated to eat there. haha. Totalled up to be $40.20. On the way home, went to Bata and my mum bought me another pair of heels and the slippers that I had been looking for high and low!!! Now I got slippers to wear to chalet le!!! haha. So happy that I finally found the slippers.


On the train was tired but cant sleep... Reached home, online, chatted with cl, watched tv, write my ibt notes, do the ppt, chat here and there, used quite a amount of time on the ppt. Then now left ham ham chatting with me loh.. dunno what that tong doing...


Friday shou bing, jk they all hving their first paper.. GOOD LUCK!!! Sad le.. nothing can get into my brain. Then tomorrow going chinatown. Think tomorrow afternoon wont online ba... FEN so many things to remember.. sob sob...

Hopefully the tour would not change again... From NZ, change to China, then to another part of China, then now to Taiwan. Praying that the taiwan trip is confrim!!!


Yesterday night had a headache, so went to sleep early, then woke up at 4plus because of a nightmare which was really very scary, then discovered that I had a miss call at 1plus. Imagine how tired I was, if not I would have heard my phone ringing. Till now I still have no idea who called me.. weird..


Woke up this morning with a worst headache. Only after my lunch that I left better. Then my mum called to ask me find how much the tour to taiwan will cost, so I called and called the tour agency. If everything goes as planned, should be flying off on 3oct, going off for 7days.


Going amk later for dinner... hehe...

Still piss with my brother.


Had a nightmare. Somehow, I ended up with cutting my hair, and it's not Ron who cut it. And turn out, so UGLY!!!! It's like so real, the feeling of me regreting, so real. Then I woke up, see mirror, still the same. =)


Yesterday night was so stress, but shou bing cheered me up. After he told me what he is like last time, I only respect him more, some things he did is really wrong, but everyone have their own way of surviving right? But ya, I respect him even more now. Even look up to him. I'm proud to know him. =) Ended up, chat and chat with him, but never study. =X


Then I bought the 'do i look like i freaking care' de card holder cum coin purse? Blue in colour. Then my mum bought that PC wallet. My wallet cheaper than hers but abit only. Shit. Better don't let her know. =X Then help cl bought this bean bag holder for HP.


Cl, I really really hope you can 'don't worry be happy'. He's not the only guy on earth. You still got tao tao, vin, happy seed and mickey mouse ar... Its like, don't always take things so seriously. Some guys are just meant to be friends ar.. maybe he's one of those. Thats why things never work out. Still got other guys out there kk?? *hugs* *hugs* This exam period you can survive de, I survived last test wk didnt I? Though, barely. But still survive ma.. =)


Sad to see my friends like that.. And ya, I can talk to him, he will reply, but I knew deep down I can never talk to him about things as freely as I did last time. Now whenever I msn him, it's just to ask him something and thats it. Pathetic right?

Yesterday really was a up and down day.


Was late for test. A test that I given up hope on. Its that bad. =) Finished the test then came out. Was late yet finish so fast. Then cl dunno repeat her 'stun-ness' how many times. lolz. 1 people come out, she say 1 time. Wanna know, go her blog and read. Then wait and wait, then go Estate office then go find Mr Chan to ask IEQ. Stress le...


Didnt feel like going home, so went to JP. Looked for wallet for my mum, cost more than mine!!! But, guess becase I only look at renoma's and pc's wallets. =X Then saw richmond, from the drinking group. Long time no see. =)


Walked around JP for like 2times? Or more for some parts. Went to NTUC, Toy R Us, and the palsa malam (think spell wrongly).. =X Bought this fcuk t-shirt. Of course not real 1 lah. But I like the design and the 'fcuk' word. $6 only. lolz... Love it!!! Shall wear on the last day of paper.. =)


After that reach home, didnt have a good rest. Then dinner wasnt really good. After which, mum shouted at brother which led to my previous entry. After that I went in to talk to my parents, like cheer them up with talking about other stuffs loh...


Stress.. thats all I can say.. and I miss you.. Know you enjoying yourself.. =)

Because of him.. I gave up JC which will led to going to a Uni.
Because of him.. I gave up my dream of further studying Phy and Maths.
Because of him.. I gave up something that I had always wanted to do since I came into contact with Phy.


But all don't matters now. I have to say this first, guys, I don't regret going to Poly and got to know you all. But please understand that it had always been my aim to go JC to further study my Phy and Maths. I'm really glad that I knew you all in poly.


When I heard my brother wanna go study Insurance and not in a Poly to just get a cert, I wanna ignore him, because I gave up my dream for him, my mum asked me to give up JC and go to a Poly. And this is what I get. No matter how many sorry won't solve it. zhanke should know this alot better than others, he saw how I reacted when I saw people from JJ after I decided to go to a Poly. They keep telling me that I can earn my Uni fees during the holidays, but please, be realistic, not possible de.


So here I am. I hate being reminded of these things because I didnt do something of my choice. Again.


Cant turn back time.. Can I?

fcuk

There's things that I do not wanna care...


Sometimes I wonder.. can I go back to what I used to be.. Sometimes there seems to be hope that I can, yet not always there. It's like, it's there but not there yet. Something that amy said about my ISP project too. Think back, like lots of stuffs that I did is there but not there. Reaching but not yet there. Irritating. But, that's me. I guess.


Hopefully I day I can just freely do what I wanna do and not care about others.


I never said this before... when I saw them, I had the urge to call zl and ask whether I can go over and have a drink. Or rather, to get drunk. =)


It's hard not to think, but trying my best not to. I don't wanna dwell on the past anymore. Tiring. It's tiring and I'm sure it's tiring for all of you out there, esp cl, who talk to me till she wanna vomit. =X


I hate weekends.. lolz.. have to survive on my own.. Sad case le... =P


Anyway, having SBR test tomorrow, then IEQ on wednesday. Good luck guys!!! and to myself. haha.. tonite got 2 nice shows!!! One chinese movie that I watched before years ago and My Date with a Vampire III!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm siao about that vampire drama series.. hehe..

I don't know what to feel.. I don't know what to think.. I don't know what to say...


I think of one.. worry about one.. miss one today...


haiz.. i hate being alone when its exam period or tests... sob sob...


lei le..

Suddenly very tired.. really very very tired.. though I'm sitting here, but any minute now I can just lay down and fall asleep even though I had slept for 12hours already.


Yesterday even when watching superstar I was laying there, as if I'm dead. Hate this feeling.


Really hate. Maybe going to take a nap later. Lucky today no school, if not I sure pon in the end anyway.


miss ham ham alot... the connection over there sure sucks ALOT... haizz.. sob sob... ham ham...


booked the chalet le.. $20 per day... =) cheap hor..