Wow... today, finally I went to school! So happy. But part of the time, felt like crying. Ya. But I think I can do this. Hopefully.


And, I took my bracelet down. Trying to get use to having nothing on my hand. Felt so weird. So in-secure.


Que for quite a long time for the notes and went over to bishan. Walked around... lunched at mos. Bought a belt. $14. Come with a yellow pouch wor!!! lolz. cl jealous ma? haha. Maybe using as my handphone pouch. After that took the train down to woodlands. Bought 2 vcd for $12. Then continue to walk around. Went to see people catch bear bear... Tempt me le. =X


After that had dinner at JP. Very long never saw my grandma laugh so happy le.. =D


Stand too long, walked too much, now legs very pain. But happy to see my friends.. lolz

I'm tired. Suddenly very tired. Partialy is physical, mostly is mental.


Physically because out of sudden, my arm hurts slightly. And also due to period, so tired super easy and dizzy once or twice.


Mental, I guess, lots of stuffs. Plus having nightmares almost everytime I sleep. Struggle. Then family stuffs, trying to be fine, decisions to make, and the list goes on and on. Maybe no school then easily tired. No stamina.. When schooling, only when rushing projects, tests and exams then will break down. Now... keep breaking down when I can't think of a good reason good. lolz.


So ya, that is how I had been since I return from taiwan...

i feel so shiok now. written a whole essay about what i'm feeling. though it still how i was about 4 or 5 months ago. it onli means i had been 'dead' for awhile. but after writing it all out, i felt so relax. i should had been meaner. lolz.


i know it wont be easy from now on. but i will take a step at a time. something that i hadnt been doing.. =D

Feel like crying while watching prince to frog again...


Today went to Hotel Phoenix for High-Tea!!! Not bad, and the price not very expensive either. Just $15.90 per person if paying by DBS card, if not I think it will cost $17.40. So the price is pretty alright. There's the usual cakes, pubbing, coffee and tea, noodles, chicken wings, ice kachang, fruits, mee siam etc etc. Not alot of variety, but acceptable and worth the price. Serives very good too. As soon as you clear your plate, someone will come and clear it off for you. The place is called Garden Cafe, and so the place is decorated as a garden, but indoor and air-coned. Plates and cups are all of different colours, yellow, gree, orange. Bright colours. Basically the theme is 'Garden'. Should go there when there's time. Not that expensive. Affordable for students even. O ya, you even can 'fry' your own rojak. =D


Eat till I full till cannot full. Even just the butter cake tastes so nice! Then walked down to Taka's library and went back home. Got my bro to cut the songs for me so it can be use as a ringtone better. So now there's only like one full songs in my phone! lolz.


Gave my desktop an extreme make-over yesterday night. It's so cool now! Even ham ham agreed with me. haha.


Tomorrow is Friday already. So fast.. Frying onion rings tomorrow! =D And shall tidy my clothings tomorrow. Too many clothes that I have no idea where are some of them.

Fuck.. I'm having cramps at the area which caused me to admit into hospital a few years ago.


Anyway, I had the weridest dreams last night/ this morning. It's like I'm on a ship with tong, tao and vin. Then somehow due to bad weather, the ship kind of sank but everyone got safetly to the habour which is kind of flooded with sea water too.


And the surpising part is, it's like someone gives us a chance to experience everything again so that we can be more prepared as in with our passports, money, as we are all empty-handed. So the dreams rewinded and replayed. And this time, we got our stuffs. But somehow, our clothes, passports, etc etc is at the chalet. So after reaching the habour, we quickly rush to the chalet. Suppose to got down at Seng Kang but got a group of guys that are following us thus vin insisted we dropped off at yishun where there are no bus to the chalet but he still insisted on it. Wanted to catch a cab, but no drivers are working, like they just disappear. Then out of nowhere, we had walked to the stand where the bus shuttle people from there to the chalet. OUT of NOWHERE! Went to chalet, wanted to get our things, but can't find them. Then I forgot my luggage combi number. I still can remember asking them to put the passport and important stuffs in a ziplock bag.


The dreams is like so terrible that I know I wanna get out of it, yet I cant.


Another dream was that everyone are seated on a table having dinner. Then behind us there's this stall selling ice jelly and that person is my dad's dad. Everyone is so happy. And then I woke up.


What a night. Slept at 1plus woke up at 4plus and then I can't sleep. I still feel like as if I had slept for a very very long time. Then I guess five plus I fall asleep again and woke up at 12plus. wow.. very long nv sleep in till so late le.


But yesterday was a fun day. Met tong and the rest at evening time at bugis to celebrate tong's birthday. Had dinner while laming around. Very funny. After that went to buy bag for him, walked around, back to bugis, walk again then they went off first while tong, jas and me stayed back for awhile more. No rush to reach home so just rotted at the food court an talk till people kick us out of it. haha. Love it. Tong, hope u happy hor. So sorry forget ur cake. =X


Next birthday is mine!!!! lolz. Somehow, I don't feel like drinking, because drinking will make me think of him..

suddenly.. i feel like cooking.. when i'm cooking, my brain wont be thinking of anything else. when i'm cooking, i'm happy.


next wk.. next wk i will put my heart into cooking. then wont be able to do so anymore coze sch reopening again.....


prince to frog really have very touching, very real lines. after watching everyday, i'm so choked with tears..

ok.. i'm having my mood swing. cannot ar? then in the first place shouldnt be at my blog.


whatever.


i know it's holiday now.. i know i should be enjoying it. but i'm not. maybe i'm the one who is standing at the place and not growing.. or issnt because i'm the one who is the free-est, with the most time on my hands, that i see things from another view? whatever shit lah..


sorry ar.. i'm feeling irritated now.


its like some questions you have to ask youself de why keep asking me whether i think you are like this like that. if have the time to ask. should have the time to reflect on yourself right? maybe you are someone who like to hear ppl opinion whether you are right or not, but sorry, i'm not. as long as i feel i'm right, i'm right. if i'm wrong and yet i think i'm right, someone will tell me or after some aruging and when i think back, hopefully i will know i'm wrong. i'm this kind of person. i need to accept things with my own will, if not no point saying i'm wrong when i dont think i'm wrong. so please don't ask me whether i think you are this or that.


maybe i yet to really learn how to accept ppl as they are. but there are just some things i cannot tahan.


today, it had been raining for the whole day time. so cold. so very very cold...

Laying on his bed and in his arms after lots of drinks..
He asked: when we wake up.. i wont remember all these
Me: i don't mind..
He: i wont have time for you..
Me: i don't mind..
And then both of us fell asleep again.. with me still in his arms smiling sweetly and him soundly asleep..


Thats what I dreamt of yesterday. So sweet.. so real.. till I really feelt like my lips curled up slightly in reality.. Or that I suspect.


But reality is a different thing.


Today, went out with Charlene and Jimmy.. Lunch.. walk around.. moive at PS.. train down to Bugis.. Bought a mask and then bubble tea. Quite ok lah.. but bored with town. haha. Then very cold also.


Yesterday just rot at home. SO SIAN!!!


Monday went out with tao, tong, vin, cl and yh.. went Kbox then dinner and home le..


no mood write le.. write more later ba... =) o ya.. i bought concealer!!! haha

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I got molested on bus 30!!! Idiot guy. He's like the most lower secondary!!! The bus reached interchange and then we were all waiting to walk down the staircase, then he just keep 'pushing' forward while touching my butt! Idiot. Its so obvious that no one is moving, all just standing there waiting to walk down the stairs! At first thought not purposely, but for a few times! Argh. So mad. And, I wasnt wearing short shorts! I'm wearing that old OP shorts which is longer than my blue OP shorts! Bastard.


I'm so damn angry.


Yesterday.. I cried while watching 'prince to frog' or something. Channel U from 7:30pm to 8:30pm every Wednesday to Friday. The first few esposide is abit lame but now, it's touching. Junhao regain his memory and forgotten about Tianyu who looked after him when he lost his memory and they are together dating during that period of time and he saved her a few times. The coldness from Junhao reminded me of him. I'm very good at linking, so end up I cried for quite awhile.


Maybe I was too foolish to believe all he did was real, was from his heart. If it's all fake, I don't think I can have the faith to believe in any guys anymore. I don't have the confident for any relationship anymore. I'm just a toy that people throw away once they get tired of.


At least, in the drama series, Tianyu and Junhao will end up together. Now, I don't even feel like I can trust him anymore. Whats the use of talking when he doesnt care? No use. Maybe someday, I should travel oversea for a year or two...

Finally.. I got back home. =)


Was away for 7days to go for a shopping trip at Taiwan. Wasnt as good as I expect it to be. But overall still alright. Don't think I will write about everything that happened because there's so much to say.


The people there really very style, the clothes they wear, the effort they put into dressing, the price of the clothes etc etc. Some of the food is not really suitable for our taste buds. Their price for stuffs can go as low as S$5plus to S$200plus for clothings. Really a big different... Or rather should I say, two extremes.


But the nature over there is really breathtaking. And just nice its raining so there's this light mist at the tops of the mountains. So unreal to me, maybe because we live in singapore, without any of these. The lakes, mountains, the greens of the trees, plants. Wow... And there's this beach at Taiwan that is the most beautiful over there de. It's like so clean!!! Then the 'stones' are like so smooth... wow... because it's near to the sea, the water is damn clean too... blue.. the wave when it hit the 'land' will cause the water droplets to land on you. The feeling is so WONDERFUL! A sight you will never get in Singapore. Steal a few stones back. haha.


The shopkeeper are also more friendly than those in Singapore, you can taste all the food and not buy any, its ok with them. Everytime I enter a 7-11, the person will say welcome.


The stuffs they sell at 7-11 is also of a wider vaerity than Singapore's. Their drinks are like so cheap!!! Some of their stuffs are really cheaper than Singapore by alot.


But, the shopping center there, is really expensive. Every single little thing is branded. Costing at least 100plus per clothing. Expensive hor? Thats why I only shop at the night market. lolz.


New clothes to wear to school for the new sem. =D Now, rotting at home, debating whether to work or not. If I do, I have that extra income, but then, not that despo for one. I'm lazy. I want a easy work. hehe.


I miss Singapore food...

I wanna look for you.. but can I? Will you try to cheer me up like you used to? When I off my lappy after knowing my results, I went to lay on my bed, how I wish for you. Suddenly, I don't feel like flying off tomorrow. But at the same time, it wont matters. You wont even notice I'm gone. Really feel like crying... but tears just wont come out.


with you around, nothing is hard..
without you around, i'm just a super duper normal ger...

Abit tired now. =)


8am and my phone started ringing and ringing for don't know how many times. My mum lah, call and call to ask about the chalet. argh. Cant wait till I wake up one le. so piss. Asked her to stop calling me and whent to sleep awhile more. 9am woke upt to bathe and all. Rotted awhile online and then went out. Took the train to somerset... vin late then tao tao got something urgent to do before he can come down.


Vin came then went to cine to walk around, lunch at LJS while waited for tao tao to come... tao came le then go buy ticket...


The Myth is really really a very wonderful show. At first abit confuse but after awhile can understand le. It travels between now and the past. The love side is so sad. The princess waited for the general for ages, only to find out he's dead but she won't believe it. Feel so sad for the princess. Waited for so long, yet her 'prince' never came... sob sob..


After the moive walked around and then ended up at coffee bean. Been ages since I went to coffee bean. Rotted, chatted, then I went home. Tao and vin go dating.


Suddenly on the train so tired. Like so many things happened. I still cant believe them. Or rather, I don't want to. haiz... But it doesnt matter to him. The only one it affects is me.. why bother.. even if i go oversea and never come back to singapore, he also wont miss me abit nor think of me...

Today met up with cl to go town. Went to CK Tang first but the wallet she wanna buy no have le, so we just continue walking down to Taka. Walked around, had our lunch at mac... chatted abit, then went to Heeren.


AND...


i saw this initial d limited edition watch!!!! cost $200plus... whole world only got 2000 pieces... i'm so in love with it...


now my whole brain is that watch.. lolz.. think coze is initial d de ba.. haha..


after that just walk and walk till centerpoint... then BACK to heeren to get cl wallet and went home.. bought a bracelet today.. is crystal heart shape de... $30.. =X


met my dad in jp.. bought the soup home.. paint the shoes... went out again to JP to get some stuffs for my trip and some food for my bro if not i oversea he nth to eat. then came home watch tv and rest my legs.. so tired...


i really want that watch.. lolz

Since after chalet.. nothing much happened. Just resting at room to get back my energy and strength since the outreach after the chalet totally drain all my energy and strength away. I mean TOTALLY. So just sleep and eat and sleep.


Trying to clear all my story books before I fly on friday morning. Started to pack my bag le. Bought all those that need to be bought. Dig out my clothes to bring there.


did i really accept the facts? i guess i can never do that. but at times, i do need to act like i had right? its just not right for christina to keep crying non-stop. if i really do it.. it would been for his sake more than for myself.


i wanna be your little princess.. can i?