I wasnt happy today.. He 'dumped' me again for his campmates. Im really upset about it because I only get to see him on the weekends when he is off from his duty. While they see him everyday. And today, he chose to continue spending his 'after office hours' time with them rather than me. When he agreed to meet me for dinner.

I cried.

Through out the whole week, this is the only activity I look forward to. The only thing I work hard for. But all Im left with this weekend is being alone. Fyi, he's going oversea this weekend. So basically I wont see him till next weekend if he decides not to make time for me.

I hate it everytime when he 'dump' me for his friends or campmates. I mean, come on. Was it not a common understanding to spend time with each other once a week. To at least inform beforehand. I felt dumped. I felt unwanted. I felt lonely. And he didnt understand.

Im so pissed and upset till I went FB and saw the picture we took during my birthday celebration mid this month. Happiness was basically reflected from the picture. It brought a slight sense of warmth to my heart. But still. I cannot understand why I am being left out today. F all the agreements and promises.

Writing this entry make me wanna cry even more.

Try putting yourself in my shoes and feel what Im feeling. Its not like I will feel any better if you left me alone. It doesnt always work that way.

Loving someone gave them the power to hurt you
But the hurt are not physical.
It cant be seen
It cant be understood by others
But its there
The pain that slowly eats you from inside
The loneliness that make you lonely even when you are surrounded by friends
How can you protect yourself from this?
If you did,
You are not giving your significant ones your entire

How contradicting